Being Brooke
by secondstarontheright
Summary: Brooke Centric AU story.. What if you could go back and right a couple of your biggest regrets? A strange man visits Brooke on the train and tells her she can rewrite her past to change her future. BRATHAN Read and Review! Epilogue Added
1. A Penny For Your Thoughts

OK so I know some of you are waiting for me to finish Going to the Chapel and honestly I am working on it… I'm just having a hard time, after the last chapter I posted I got some harsh reviews and it really took away the fun that was that story for me. So I'm going to finish it then post the rest of it in its entirety… Sorry if this upsets anyone… As far as Wedding in Tree Hill… It's almost finished too… I'll be posting that finale by the end of this week… Sweethearts is still being held till I finish those two stories… I might actually delete it and start over… Oh and I just started the sequel to Blue Christmas… Hope to be posting the first two chapters of that by the middle of next week…

Now on to this story… LOL It's titled Being Brooke… I was totally inspired by this show on the Soap Network called Being Erica… I just found it to be a really interesting concept… Going back in time and rewriting monster mistakes…

So this is completely AU… I'm going to be bringing in past and present Tree Hill characters, but I'm not promising that they are gonna be at all like they are in Mark Schwann's universe…

Disclaimer: I know nothing OTH related… If I did the show would have gone a completely different direction…

-0-

**Being Brooke**

_Chapter 1: A Penny for your Thoughts_

The sudden blaring of her alarm woke Brooke up with a start. Brooke fumbled with the alarm and glared at the digital numbers that said: 6:00 am. She went to roll out of bed to start her day when she felt a masculine hand wrap around her waist. "Come on baby let go I have to go in early this morning I have a presentation," she wiggled free, "I can't be late."

The groggy man huffed and said, "But I just got home like," he turned the clock to him, "4 hours ago." He sat up, "I miss my girlfriend."

Brooke stared into his deep blue eyes, "I know Nathan, believe me I know," she straddled his lap and kissed his cheek, "but I'm really trying to get this promotion. It would mean an extra $300 a week." He glared at her so she responded playfully, "think of all the shoes that could buy."

Nathan began to tickle her, "well how about I play nice and let you leave without any problems," He paused, Brooke could feel a but coming on, "but I come downtown and take you to lunch today."

Brooke smiled, "sounds like a plan hot shot."

Nathan laughed, "I can't believe you still call me that," he scratched his head, "I mean I haven't played basketball since college."

"Well to me, you'll always be that hot shot I met all those years ago," Brooke hugged him, "I love you so much. I'm gonna go hop in the shower, I'll see you at noon."

Brooke left her 5th floor walk up at exactly 6:45 am, "just enough time to make the 7:15 train," she said aloud. She pulled out her blackberry and noticed a new text message. She opened it and smiled, _Knock umm dead today baby. I love you and I miss you already… See you at noon in the lobby. Love always, Nathan._ Brooke thought about her life with Nathan and how wonderful it would be when the consulting firm he worked for finally transferred him to Manhattan. Brooke hurried into the office at five minutes to 8. "Hey Millie how is everything this morning?"

Millie turned to look at Brooke, "everything is as good as can be expected. Rick said he needed to see you before the meeting started."

Brooke smiled, "thanks, is he in his office?" Millie simply nodded; Brooke couldn't help but think about the look on Millie's face as she entered Rick's office. "You wanted to see me sir?" Brooke smiled at her boss of 3 years.

"Yes, Miss Davis I've been speaking with the partners and we have decided to let you go." He pushed his glasses back on his nose, "You have till the end of business today to clear your belongings." He paused, "and please don't forget to turn in your card keys to Javier in security before you go."

Brooke was looking in his eyes for a hint of sarcasm when she saw none he felt her face flush and her eyes well up with tears, "can I ask why I'm being fired?" Brooke took a deep breath, "because when I had my review with Lucy last month and I scored all 9's and 10's."

Rick removed his glasses and squeezed the bridge of his nose, "How is your line coming?"

Brooke clipped at her nail polish; "well it's…" she couldn't think of the right words.

"On the back burner?" Rick finished, "that's the problem. When I hired you I admired your spunk. Your ability to see the silver lining in every horrific fashion show dress. But recently that spunk has been missing and Lucy and I feel like it's because you aren't happy here."

Brooke was confused, "so you're letting me go because I haven't been happy. I've been busting my ass on the Dolce presentation."

Rick replaced his glasses on his nose, "Brooke I think the best thing for your vision would be to go solo." Rick got up and sat on the edge of his desk, "Look at me… I've been at Majestic Magazine for 15 years. Do you know what I originally came to New York to be?"

Brooke shrugged her shoulders, "Rick what does this have to do with me?"

Rick pulled a sketch pad from his drawer and handed it to Brooke, "This is why I hired you. You were sitting right where you are now fresh out of Fashion Design School bursting at the seams with all your brilliant ideas. I hired you because I thought we could harvest that brilliance and turn you into a top designer." Rick sat back in his chair, "Now here you are…" He motioned to her, "pushing your future to the back burner all so you can kiss the asses of people that are not nearly as talented as you. Well I won't sit back and watch it any longer. Now go Brooke Davis finish your collection," Rick got up and hugged her, "it will all be ok, you'll see."

Brooke pulled away and feverishly wiped at the tears in her eyes, "what if I can't do it?"

Rick laughed, "I want front row tickets to the Brooke Davis fashion show at Bryan Park next spring."

Brooke left Rick's office completely baffled by what she had heard, 'He was firing me so I could finish my collection?' she thought to herself, 'how am I supposed to finish anything sitting in the unemployment line?' When Brooke arrived at her corner cubicle Millie was waiting with 2 packing boxes. "How long did you know about this?" Brooke demanded.

"I found out this morning when Rick asked me to go locate a couple of boxes." Millie paused, "he also had me bring down your packet to HR so they could cut your final check."

"Marvelous," Brooke muttered as she began shoving random things into the boxes. "I didn't drive in today. How am I gonna get this crap home?"

"I can stop by tonight after I get off?" Millie asked, "would that help."

Brooke began to cry again, "Yes Millie it would."

-0-

After saying tearful goodbye for what seemed like an eternity Brooke was glad to be back on the train. She was so deep in thought she missed her stop and started cursing her horrible luck today. She was also irritated because she couldn't reach Nathan on his cell phone. "Penny for your thoughts?" a voice called behind her as she exited the train and prepared her already aching feet for the extra 3 blocks.

"No," Brooke called behind her as she began walking more briskly then she had planned, 'that's the last thing I need,' Brooke thought to herself, 'to be raped by a stranger from the train.'

"I assure you I have no desire what so ever to hurt you in anyway." He called to her, "I just couldn't help but notice your demeanor in the train and figured you might need someone to talk to."

Brooke halted immediately, "Look I don't need to talk to anyone. I just got fired because my boss thought I was wasting my potential. I missed my stop so now I have to walk an additional 3 blocks in semi new Gucci heels. Now if you'll excuse me I have a date with my IBook. I have to file for unemployment."

The man jogged and caught up to her and touched her hand, "well your job was a bit of a letdown wasn't it?" He smiled, "I mean when you first started at Majestic you thought about all the possibilities it would bring and now here you are 28 years old and you still haven't accomplished anything you thought you would."

Brooke felt faint, "How did you know I worked for Majestic Magazine? Have you been following me?"

The man released her hand and produced a business card, "Jake Jageleski."

Brooke looked at the beautifully embossed card, "What's a life therapist?"

"Well I help people find their path," Jake smiled, "I have an opening in my schedule right now would you like to accompany me to my office?"

Brooke laughed nervously, "No Mr. Jageleski I really must be going." Brooke hurried down the street.

Jake called out to her, "Stop by my office sometime if you ever change your mind."

-0-

Brooke climbed the stairs to her apartment out of breath; she had just run 12 blocks in heels. She removed her shoes as she trekked the final steps down the hallway, 'I wonder if he went back to sleep?' she asked herself as she approached her door. She could hear Metallica blaring from the other side, "Guess not," she said aloud. She opened the door, "Nathan!" She yelled over the music. When she didn't get a response she went to the stereo and turned it off. She was about to call out for him again when she heard a loud moan coming from the bedroom. She walked slowly down the hall and said "Nathan" as she pushed open the bedroom door.

Brooke let out a gasp, there in her bed was Nathan and some unidentified red head fucking like rabbits. She was at a complete loss for words, every time she opened her nothing came out. She was about to just leave when Nathan noticed her. The red head arched her back in climax and rolled off of him and jumped when she saw Brooke standing there. "Brooke honey I can explain," Nathan scrambled to put on his boxers.

Brooke left the room and headed to the bathroom where she felt like she would most certainly heave any moment. Nathan came in and touched her back softly, "don't you dare touch me," Brooke snapped slapping his hand away. "How could you do this to me? Today of all days! Who is she? How long have you been seeing her? Do you love her?" Brooke caught herself start to ramble.

Nathan ran his hand thru his sweaty hair, "what are you doing home?"

Brooke opened her mouth to answer then shook her head, "I'm the one asking questions here."

"Her name is Rachel and I met her in Los Angeles. She's a model. We have sort of been fooling around the last 4 months…" Nathan trailed off, "I have needs too honey and I really really missed you." Nathan tried to grab for her hands again.

"Don't you dare make this my fault? I've been working non-stop so we could buy a place together when you got transferred out here." Brooke felt the hot tears hit her cheeks, she felt defeated, she hadn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "5 years together Nathan and this is what you do to me." Brooke rubbed her temples, "Get out of my house now. I never want to see you again."

Nathan was about to protest when Brooke pushed passed him and locked herself in the spare bedroom and began to sob uncontrollably. "Brooke?" Nathan called thru the door. "Brooke baby I'm not leaving ok. Please talk to me."

Brooke tried to ignore his pleas. She got up from the floor and grabbed the telephone. She quickly dialed the number she had committed to memory. "Hello."

"Luke," Brooke choked, "Is Peyton there?"

"Yeah, she's just feeding the baby." Lucas sighed, "Is everything alright?"

Brooke smiled, "Yeah everything's fine. I got fired today and I really need Peyton."

Lucas paused and yelled, "Peyton! Brooke's on the phone. I think you need to head over to her place." Brooke could hear Peyton softly in the background, "Yeah honey I'll take care of Keith and Ellie." Brooke listened to the muffled voices until Lucas returned to the line, "Brooke, Peyton is on her way. She said she'd be there in about 20 minutes. Do you need someone to listen until then?"

Brooke smiled again, "No Luke. I think I'll be alright. Besides if Peyton is leaving you alone with the kids you will most certainly have your hands full. Thanks though." Brooke sighed, "I'll come out to Martha's Vineyard with you guys this weekend. Maybe get a little sun."

Lucas laughed on the other end of the line, "Sounds good. But I can manage the kids and talk to you I swear. Peyton has me trained in the art of multitasking."

Brooke shook her head trying to imagine Lucas alone with 4 year old Keith and 1 ½ year old Ellie. 'He doesn't stand a chance,' she thought to herself. "I'm sure you're a pro Luke but I think I'm just going to wait for Peyton. I'll see you in a few days ok."

Brooke was about to click off the line when Lucas said, "Hey isn't Nathan supposed to be coming in soon?"

"Yeah," Brooke lied, "his flight was delayed."

"Well that sucks. Give my brother a hug for me when you see him and talk to him about the Vineyard. The kids miss you guys." Lucas said.

"I will." Brooke called, "Bye Luke." She hung up just as she heard one of the kids wailing in the background.

-0-

Peyton used her key to get into Brooke's place. "Brooke?" she called. Nathan came walking down the hall, "Hi Nate. Where's Brooke? She called and said she needed some girl time."

Nathan looked at Peyton trying to gage what she knew already, when he determined Brooke hadn't yet told her he spoke, "she's in the spare room… locked in, she won't talk to me."

"She must just be embarrassed." Peyton replied walking towards the bedrooms, "Brooke honey it's Peyton. Come out now."

Nathan wasn't really sure what Brooke had to be embarrassed about, "Embarrassed about what?"

Peyton turned and said in a low tone, "she was fired this morning." She turned back to the bedrooms and knocked on the door, "Brooke?"

Brooke slowly opened the door and ran into Peyton's arms, "Oh I needed that P. Sawyer." Even though Lucas and Peyton had been married 6 years Brooke still referred to her best friend by her maiden name.

Peyton pulled Brooke towards the living room and gestured for her to sit next to her on the sofa, "Start at the beginning."

Brooke glanced in Nathan's direction, "I told you I wanted you to leave."

Peyton looked up at Nathan a little puzzled, "Brooke baby why didn't you tell me you got fired this morning?"

She really hadn't wanted to cause a scene in front of Peyton but if Nathan wasn't going to listen she didn't care what she said, "I had every intention of telling you I was canned but I was quickly distracted by you fucking some girl in my bed."

Peyton gasped and covered her mouth, "Nathan how could you?"

Nathan opened his mouth to speak but Brooke put up her hand, "I don't want to hear it right now Nathan Scott. I asked you to leave before I called Peyton. I was trying to spare you the pain of seeing Peyton's face when I told her what a bastard you were. I didn't tell Lucas I told him your flight into JFK had been delayed. Now can you please just get out of my house? I can't even stand to look at you right now."

Again Nathan opened his mouth but after receiving a stern look from Peyton he grabbed his bag that was still packed and turned to leave, from the door he called out, "I love you Brooke. More than you will ever know. You didn't deserve any of this and I hope one day you can forgive me." He opened the door, "I'll be at the Four Seasons." When Brooke heard the door click closed she buried her head in Peyton's lap and began to weep uncontrollably.

-0-

Brooke woke up to find herself alone. "Peyton?" She called, she got up to stretch and saw a note on the coffee table:

_Brooke I had to run home to get Ellie… Lucas can only handle one child at a time. I filled him in on everything that's going on. I'll be back by 7:30… And I won't be leaving again until you're alright. _

_Lots of love!_

_Peyton_

Brooke smiled after she read the note; she looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was 7. 'Cool I have just enough time to shower and change,' she thought to herself. Brooke hurriedly went to her room to pick out a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom in the hall. When she opened the door she struggled for breath… For what was on the other side of the door was not her bathroom but someone's office. She quickly closed the door and pinched her own arm. "Ouch," she said. She determined that she was in fact awake and proceeded to open the door a second time. When she opened her eyes again the strange office came into focus.

There was a woman sitting at the desk, "Hi Miss Davis… Mr. Jageleski has been expecting you."

Brooke came in and shut the door, "Ok this is all some sort of a dream. It has to be. I was just in my apartment." She leaned back against the door. Opened it a crack and jumped when she saw her apartment on the other side.

"Miss Davis?" the woman called, "Mr. Jageleski is waiting."

Brooke decided to just play along. 'No sense pissing off imaginary receptionists,' she thought. Brooke made her way to the back of the office and went inside. She spotted Jake sitting at an oversized mahogany desk. "So Mr. Copperfield what's your next trick?" Brooke asked before taking a seat in a chair pulled up to the desk.

Jake pulled out a notepad and pen and handed it to Brooke, "I would like you to write a list of all of the questionable decisions you've made throughout your life."

Brooke giggled, "Got a week…"

"If that's how long it takes you to compile the list." Jake said coyly.

"Fine…" Brooke pulled her hair off her face, "What kind of decisions are we talking here?"

"Anything that you feel may have altered your life in some way."

Brooke giggled again, "Well that's every decision isn't it? I mean with every action there is a reaction."

Jake smiled, "Oh yes Isaac Newton's third law of motion." Jake pulled an apple out of his desk drawer, "He was a great thinker," he paused to bite the apple, "Too bad he was so obsessed with falling fruit." He smiled again, "I want this list to reflect all the decisions that you wish you could change."

Brooke looked at the sheet of paper, "Alright if you say so." She began to scribble down her thoughts. A long time later Brooke closed the notebook and handed it to Jake, "that was hard but I don't really see what it accomplished. All it did was make me realize just how pathetic my life has become."

Jake began to scan the list he whistled and said, "That's a pretty big list." Brooke nodded; "Ok let's start with #6." Brooke looked at #6_: Getting naked in the back seat of Lucas Scott's car after a basketball game._ "Why is #6 so important? And why do you wish you had done it differently?"

"I think I came on a little strong. I looked at Lucas like he was another conquest. When in reality I should have realized from the beginning that he was different." Brooke laughed, "I think our entire relationship had the potential to be something special. But I ruined it that night. Lucas started to look at me just like everyone else did… Brooke Davis class slut."

"I want you to close your eyes for me and count to 10." Jake said in a soothing voice.

Brooke immediately closed her eyes and began to count. She opened her eyes when she heard a voice calling her name, "HELLO! Earth to Brooke?"

Brooke opened her eyes to see Peyton staring at her, "Peyt you are never going to believe the dream I was having…" She trailed off when she got a better look at Peyton, her hair was frizzy curly and she was wearing way too much eye makeup.

"If you don't get with it we're gonna be late for English and you know how much Mrs. Baylor loves that." Peyton said pulling her towards Tree Hill High School.

Brooke stopped, "wait a minute what?" Brooke looked down at herself and saw the distinct colors of a Ravens cheerleader uniform.

Peyton grabbed at her arm again and tugged her to the entry halls. "So did you do the reading assignment, or did you have someone do it for you?" Peyton asked as she took her English book out of her locker. "Why are you looking at me like that? Have you been practicing too much? You did read Les Miserables right?"

Brooke nodded and followed Peyton down the hall, 'this can't be happening I mean 10 minutes ago I was in Jake's office talking about this very day. There is no way I'm 16.' As she and Peyton walked into English class Brooke was trying not to hyperventilate, then she saw him… Lucas Scott.

"Don't look now Davis but I think you have a secret admirer." Nathan called to her with a laugh as he chucked a wad of paper at Lucas's head.

Brooke took her seat and tried not to panic, 'there has to be some logically explanation for all of this,' she reasoned with herself, 'it is impossible to time travel, there's no way this is real.' Just then Brooke was pulled from her thoughts by a rough hand on her shoulder, "So Brooke are you gonna be at the game tonight?" Lucas paused, "I mean of course you're gonna be there you're captain of the cheerleading squad. I just meant are you going to watch the game." A smile spread across his face, "Tonight's my first game as a Tree Hill Raven."

-0-

Upcoming: Brooke scrambles to change history… Will it altar her future?

So what do you think? It will all make better sense in the upcoming chapters.

Please read and review… Let me know what you're thinking…

Thanks everyone!

Krystal


	2. Les Miserables and Liam Neeson

Thanks to the reviewers and the people that set up story alerts… You guys rock…

Cloverx3: Thanks for the review…

Clanaforeva: Thanks for the review… Hope you like the upcoming chapter…

Todd: I know you love Brucas… they have a couple scenes together this chapter. Being Erica is a show that originally debuted in Canada… Soap Net is just replaying it. I've been dealing with personal stuff… You know my fiancé and I were having major issues and it was too hard to write thru that. Everything is better now…  It wasn't your review that upset me I swear… They know what they said… And it irritates me because they don't even write any of their own stuff they just tear down everyone else's… So I hope you like this story… And I'll finish the rest of my others soon…

OK so I don't have to try and determine when the people of OTH actually graduated I'm writing it like they finished in 2001. I'm also going to be inserting time markers throughout so I don't have to keep explaining how old everyone is supposed to be… The present time is May 2011… Thanks!

**Being Brooke**

_Chapter 2: Les Miserables and Liam Neeson_

*January 2000*

Brooke couldn't contain herself; 'think!' she screamed. "Well good luck tonight." Brooke smiled, "I'm sure you won't need it though…" Brooke thought back to that game 12 years ago, "I'm sure you guys are gonna kick some basketball but." Brooke winked at him and settled in when Mrs. Baylor entered the class room.

"Good morning class I assume all of you finished Les Miserables last night. So today," she paused to pull some papers out of her briefcase, "Pop quiz." Brooke listened to the collective groan throughout the classroom. "Miss Davis you look chipper today." She handed Brooke the quizzes, "Please pass these out for me."

Brooke stood up and adjusted her skirt. It was a lot shorter than she remembered. She blushed lightly as she heard the guys whistle and hoot for her, "Stop it guys," she giggled.

"Don't pretend you don't love it Davis," Nathan smiled from the corner. Brooke wanted to punch him for what he put her thru this morning but unfortunately 16 year old Nathan would have no idea why she was angry so Brooke pretended to love it.

"Are you implying that I like to be ogled hot shot?" Brooke shot him a look and kinked her eyebrow. She finished passing out the quizzes and sashayed back to her seat.

"Thank you Miss Davis. After the quiz, we'll go over the answers together." Mrs. Baylor looked at the clock at the back of the room, "Alright everyone you have 25 minutes… Please begin." Brooke struggled to remember Les Miserables… 'I don't remember the book really,' she thought to herself, 'but I do remember Liam Neeson from the film and poor Uma Thurman playing the whore.' Brooke hurriedly scribbled down a couple answers; 'the results can't be any worse than I did the first time' she thought and put down her pencil. She turned her head and saw Lucas staring at her, she smiled just as Mrs. Baylor said, "Ok class pencils down." After they corrected the quizzes and turned them into Mrs. Baylor she entered them into her grade book. "Miss Davis?"

Brooke looked up from her math book, "Yes Mrs. Baylor."

"Good job today. You got the highest score in the class." She smiled.

Brooke listened to the silence grip the classroom, she giggled, "Thanks Mrs. Baylor I found Victor Hugo to be quiet enlightening." She drummed her pencil, "Plus Liam Neeson is totally hot…"

Mrs. Baylor looked at her slightly baffled, "What does Liam Neeson have to do with Les Miserables?"

"Well because he played Valijean in the movie." Brooke stopped, "I mean I heard he was playing him in an upcoming movie." Before Mrs. Baylor could respond the bell rang and Brooke practically flew out of class.

-0-

Brooke stood at her locker before lunch straining to remember her locker combination, "focus" she said aloud.

"Focus on what?" Nathan called from beside her.

Brooke turned quickly dropping all her things to the ground. "I can't remember my locker combination." Brooke laughed trying to play off the uneasiness, "I swear… Peyton is supposed to be the blonde one."

"Here move over, I think I remember it." Nathan twisted the dial effortlessly and the opened her locker.

Brooke turned to him, "thanks Nate. So how are things with you and Peyton?"

"Oh you know Peyton… Every five minutes she decides I am totally beneath her." Nathan put his hand on her waist, "she'll come around… She always does."

Brooke moved away slowly, trying not to alarm him. This was how they were with each other she had to keep telling herself. 'No wonder everyone thought I was a whore,' she sighed, 'they all thought I was sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend.' She pulled herself out of her thoughts, "So where's the party tonight?"

Nathan laughed, "At the beach house Davis where it always is." He shook her slightly, "Did you fall off the top of the pyramid and bump your head or something?"

Brooke was about to respond when she caught sight of the brooding blonde that had stolen her heart before she even knew it possible. She wanted to laugh when he passed her in the hall with Haley. 'I'm so glad she stopped dressing like a soccer mom.' Brooke giggled, "That poncho is amazing."

Nathan began to laugh; Brooke hadn't meant to say that out loud. Lucas and Haley both turned around and glared at her. "Got a problem wannabe?" Nathan called to Lucas.

"Nope, no problem" Lucas put his hand on Haley's back and lead her down the hallway.

"Come on, I'm starving and Peyton is probably wondering where we are," Nathan said and grabbed her hand pulling her towards the quad.

When they reached the table that was only reserved for Basketball players and cheerleaders she caught sight of Peyton. It would still be a month before Brooke finally convinced her to cheer but Peyton looked in her element. She was furiously sketching something in her notebook with a charcoal pencil. She looked up at Brooke and Nathan and smiled, "I was about to send out the search party."

Brooke smiled, "you have charcoal on your cheek P. Sawyer." Brooke couldn't help but think of all the challenges they were going to face in the coming months. She reached for her hand, "I'm glad you're my best friend. I don't think I tell you that nearly enough."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "what's wrong with you today? Did you forget to take your normal pills this morning?"

Brooke smiled bigger, "I have seriously missed that biting wit of yours Peyt." Brooke sat beside her, "so what's for lunch today. I'm seriously starving… I've been so busy preparing for the Dolce presentation that I don't think I've had a decent meal in three days." It wasn't until the words came out of her mouth that Brooke realized her friends were gonna think she's crazy. "Wow I need some air I'll be like right back." Before anyone could say anything Brooke was sprinting towards the library.

She wasn't paying any attention when she ran right into someone and fell to the ground, "Hey are you ok?" the familiar voice called to her.

Brooke looked up, "Yeah Lucas I'm fine. Sorry I didn't see you." Brooke collected the scattered papers. "What's all this?" she asked handing him a stack.

"Ummm it's just something I've been working on." Lucas shrugged, "Nothing special."

Brooke looked at the messy handwriting, "It must be important if you carry it around with you."

Lucas's cheeks turned a light shade of red, "if you put it that way I guess it is pretty important." He began throwing things haphazardly into his book bag, "it's not anything you would be interested in though."

Brooke was hurt; she had forgotten that 16 year old Lucas saw her as a dumb cheerleader. "Hey you never know. I did get the highest grade in the class on my English quiz." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"That is true," Lucas smirked, "I must admit Brooke I was pretty amazed by that. Did you really enjoy Les Miserables?"

'I was amazed too,' she thought, "I did. I loved the idea behind it. I mean he totally wanted to do whatever he could to protect Cosette from the world. I wish my parents were more like that."

Lucas looked surprised, "Wow aren't you just full of surprises." He brushed his hand along her arm, "I have some things to finish before my next class but I'll see you after the game."

Brooke felt as if she could melt under his touch, as Lucas turned to head back into the library Brooke called to him, "Hey Luke, you wanna ditch the rest of the day with me?"

-0-

Brooke had no idea where she had parked her car so she quickly pulled out her keys and started pushing the unlock button until she spotted her blue bug. Lucas stopped and was about to speak but Brooke grabbed his hand and said, "Nope you made it this far what's a few more feet?" She smiled at him, "Come on I bet you've never ditched class before."

Lucas glanced back towards the school and noticed Haley looking for him. He heard the last bell ring, "No I can honestly say I've never ditched school before. My mother likes to threaten me with bodily harm." He smirked, "So I've never done this before." 'And if I ever did I never would have thought it would be with Brooke Davis,' he thought.

Brooke got in the drivers seat and waited for Lucas to get in the passenger side. "So I think I'm going to take you to my favorite place in all of Tree Hill." Brooke's mind was spinning she had no idea what she was doing or how this would affect her future self but at the moment all that mattered to her was Lucas. She kept steeling glances at him to make sure she wasn't actually dreaming. "So are you looking forward to your first game?" Brooke grabbed his hand, "Don't worry I'll have you back in plenty of time for Coach's pregame chit chat."

Lucas nodded, "I'm a little nervous. This is the first time I'm going to be playing with Nathan. I wish he didn't resent me so much." He sighed, "I hope one day we'll be able to tolerate each other."

Brooke laughed, "Oh don't worry about it…" She started thinking of the Nathan and Lucas she knew now, "I'm sure you two will be thick as thieves." Brooke pulled her car onto the dirt road that led to the fish house by the bridge leading out of town. "Ok I'm sure we're going to need to walk the rest of the way."

Lucas got of the car and removed his dress shirt to reveal his perfectly toned chest and a tight wife beater. "I wish I had some jersey shorts handy." Lucas said as he pulled things from his bag. He found what he was looking for and looked around before he pulled off his slacks and replaced them with his gym shorts.

Brooke went around to his side of the car, "You ready yet Broody?"

"Broody?" Lucas asked as he removed his shoes and replaced them with worn flip flops.

"Yeah," Brooke smiled, "It's my nick name for you." Brooke paused trying to recall the reason she had thought of it to begin with, "Other than the basketball court I've never seen you really come alive. You are always squinting those blue eyes of yours acting like you're so much better than the rest of us."

Lucas locked and closed his door, "Is that a fact?" He smiled, "I'm sure the same things can be said about you." He glided towards her, "Miss Cheerleader."

Brooke giggled, "Ok ok you have a point. Now let's go." Brooke took him to the alcove under the bridge. 'Next year Peyton and I are gonna cry over you in this very spot' she wanted to say, "When I was younger I discovered this place after Peyton thru my Malibu Barbie over the side. Since then I've been coming here whenever I wanted to listen to the silence."

Lucas stared in awe of the view, "How is it that I never knew this was here?" Brooke shrugged, "I mean I have lived in Tree Hill my entire life, Hales and I used to go on nature walks together as kids even."

"You wouldn't have noticed it because you weren't looking for it." Brooke walked to the edge and sat down motioning for Lucas to join her. "When my parents would fight all the time I would come here to escape it all. Peyton and I eventually made this our Club House."

"So why share this place with me," Lucas pushed his shoulder against hers, "I'm not anyone special. I mean we hardly know each other Brooke."

Brooke knew this would happen, "You're special to me. I know we don't know each other that well." Brooke took his hand, "But I want to get to know you Lucas."

Lucas pulled her into a hug and laughed, "I am sitting under a bridge with Brooke Davis. It doesn't get much stranger than that."

Brooke leaned against his shoulder, "Believe me it does."

-0-

Nathan watched as Brooke's blue Volkswagen pulled into the student parking lot, "So that's where she disappeared to." Nathan said aloud as he headed towards the parking lot. He wanted to tell Brooke about the way he felt about her and that this last time his relationship with Peyton imploded it was because he told her he loved someone else. He stopped suddenly when he saw that now familiar head of blonde hair exit the passenger side of her car. He was adjusting his tie, Brooke jogged over to help him. "What were they doing together?" He asked himself. He shook his head and dropped his soda at the next image ahead of him. Brooke had just wrapped her arms around Lucas' neck and planted a kiss on his lips. "Unbelievable," Nathan said as he hurried back towards the gymnasium.

-0-

Brooke was having trouble focusing on the game. "Bevin," she called, "I'll be right back I need some fresh air. You are in charge till I get back." Bevin turned pale and nodded as Brooke jogged towards the locker rooms.

"Miss Davis?" A voice called from behind her.

"What are you doing here Jake?" Brooke replied stunned.

"I was just checking on your progress," Jake smiled. Brooke couldn't believe how much he blended in with the crowd. He was sporting Raven colors and a Tree Hill baseball cap. "Is it nice being 16 again?"

Brooke smiled, "Yeah actually it is. I missed high school oddly enough." She laughed, "I never thought I would say that. So how long does this last," She asked as she attempted to pull a $5.00 bill out of her sock.

Jake went to the vending machine and retrieved a water bottle and handed it to her, "It lasts as long as you need it to." He backed away and smiled, "Looking forward to the half time show."

Brooke turned to say something in return but he was gone. She rushed back into the gym and took her place with the rest of the squad. She spotted Peyton in the crowd and waved. "Ok girls are you ready half time is coming up. I know this is an important game but lets just be honest girls. This crowd," Brooke pointed to the stands, "Is totally here for us."

Brooke jumped to her feet as Lucas made a three-pointer at the buzzer. That put Tree Hill ahead by 8 at the half. Brooke listened for Mouth to announce the cheerleaders. Lucas walked by her on his way to the locker room and winked. "Alright raging Raven fans put your hands together for the Raven Cheerleaders'."

-0-

Brooke waited patiently outside the locker rooms for Lucas. 'I don't know how I ever survived sitting in his car waiting for him,' Brooke said to herself with a shiver, 'it's freezing tonight.' The doors swung open and Brooke smiled when she caught sight of Lucas. She ran to him and jumped in his arms, "You were incredible broody." She kissed his lips softly and pulled away slightly.

Lucas smiled, "You were pretty amazing yourself pretty girl." Lucas grabbed her gym bag and slung it over his shoulder and pulled her towards the parking lot.

"So Luke what do you want to do to celebrate your victory?" Brooke asked as she opened her trunk to put in her gym bag.

"Ummm," Lucas leaned in and kissed her forehead, he couldn't believe how natural it felt to kiss her, "I heard Tim talking about some party tonight. You interested?"

Brooke walked hand in hand with Lucas towards his truck, "Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" She giggled, "Brooke Davis doesn't say no to a party. Where is the party at?"

Before Lucas could respond they were interrupted, "Good game Scott."

Lucas smiled, "Thanks Coach."

"I mean it son, I haven't seen playing like that since Danny." Coach Durham smiled, "I know you don't to be like the Scotts but it's in your blood Lucas. Keep it up." Coach Durham then headed towards his own car.

"It's at some beach house." Lucas said kissing Brooke's cheek. "So are you driving or am I?"

-0-

*Present*

"Brooke honey… are you alright in there?" Peyton called from the other side of the door.

Brooke opened her eyes and instantly felt the steam on her face. She turned around and saw that she was inside her bathroom. "Peyton?"

"Yeah, thank God!" Peyton called again, "I was about to break down the door, I've been calling your name for at least 10 minutes."

Brooke got up and shook her head, 'could that have all been a dream?' she asked herself. She opened the door, "Sorry… you know how I get sometimes with shower steam. I must have fallen asleep on the floor." Brooke walked to the living room and noticed a pink princess pack-n-play, "Where's my favorite god daughter?"

"She's asleep." Peyton walked towards the crib and peered in on her daughter. "You should have seen Lucas; he looked exhausted by the time I got there."

"Poor guy," Brooke smiled, "You know P. Sawyer you really don't need to stay with me. I'm ok. Boyfriends come and go; the job thing doesn't seem so serious now."

"Are you sure?" Peyton looked concerned, "You can home with me and Ellie tonight. You know there is plenty of room there. Keith would be excited to see you. And Lucas as well… He kept asking if you were alright when I went home."

Brooke beamed, "well since I don't need to be in the city for work tomorrow I guess making the trip to Brooklyn isn't that bad. Let me call a cab though, I don't know how you got all her stuff here if you took the train." Brooke wandered towards her bedroom then recalled the awful things she had seen there this morning. "I'm gonna just pack a bag and grab my laptop."

"OK, well I'll take care of calling the cab then." Peyton smiled, "Take your time."

Brooke closed the door behind her and took a deep breath, "It was all a dream," she sighed, but why could she still smell Lucas on her skin? She went to the closet and grabbed a small duffel bag and filled it with jeans and tank tops. Bras and panties and swim suits. She noticed her tattered copy of _An Unkindness of Ravens_ on the floor by her bed and shoved it in the bag as well. "Just in case I haven't completely lost my mind," she smiled. Next she went to the small writing desk next to her bed and unplugged and packed her laptop and all of its accessories. She opened the door and pulled out her big sketch pad and a box of colored pencils. "Ok Peyt I'm ready."

Peyton had Ellie on her hip and a bag slung over her shoulder, "Alright let's go. The cab should be here in a few minutes."

-0-

Two days had passed since Brooke's life had turned upside down and she was now on her way to Martha's Vineyard with Lucas and Peyton and Keith and Ellie. "Are you alright back there?" Lucas called from the front seat.

They had been on the road 5 hours already. Brooke had started to notice "Martha's Vineyard welcomes' you" signs. "I'm fine Luke. Thanks for renting an SUV so I was cramped between two car seats."

Lucas smiled, "no problem. So how are you feeling?"

Brooke looked over at Peyton slumped forward in the front seat. "She never could handle long car trips could she?" They both laughed quietly. "And I'm as good as can be expected. Can you tell me when we became grown-up Luke?"

"I don't think I can pinpoint it to one particular event… But I would say it was sometime around mine and Peyton's wedding." Lucas said quietly, "You know before Julian…"

Brooke closed her eyes she knew Lucas wouldn't finish that sentence, "Yeah… 2005 was a bad year."

"It wasn't all bad…" Lucas sighed, "Just the first three-quarters of it…"

"Hey Luke?"

"Yeah…" He said.

"Do you remember much about high school?" Brooke asked.

-0-

Brooke loved the way the ocean smelled… She had wandered down to the pier after dinner. She sucked in the salty air and exhaled deeply. "Lovely night isn't it?"

"Jake?" Brooke said startled. "What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?"

"It's time to pick your next number…" He said nonchalantly, "I was thinking 19 would be a nice place to pick up."

"What are you talking about?" Brooke asked, "That wasn't real, it was all a hallucination."

Jake crossed his arms over his chest, "It wasn't a dream Brooke. You really went back to your junior year."

"Yeah sure…" Brooke laughed, "Then why didn't any time pass? And why didn't anything change?"

"Nothing changed because that memory only had a great impact on your life. It didn't affect anyone else's." Jake said matter-of-factly. "Now #19… I think that might rattle some cages."

Brooke closed her eyes and began to think about #19… She heard a familiar voice that pulled her from her thoughts, she opened her eyes and Jake was gone, "Hey Luke."

"I knew I would find you under a bridge somewhere." Lucas smiled, "Do you remember when you showed me your favorite place all those years ago?" Brooke nodded and scanned the area, Jake was gone.

-0-

OK everyone whatcha think? Is it making more sense yet?

Upcoming: Brooke and Lucas start to reminisce about high school. Nathan shows up in Martha's Vineyard and Brooke goes back to senior year to fix #19…

Thanks for reading… Please click the button on the side and tell me your thoughts…

Krystal


	3. Let's Stay Together

Thanks in advance to all the reviewers and people that set up story alerts… You guys rock

Todd: This chapter you get your wish… Brathan packed… I loved Les Miserables! That's why I put it in… Thanks again for the awesome review…

Cloverx3: Thanks for the review…

Long Live BRUCAS: Well this chapter has a little brucas. But I've already started the next chapter and that one will have a couple brucas scenes. This chapter has a lot of brathan.

Brulian equals forbidden love: Thanks for the review. I haven't decided who's going to be endgame… But this chapter explore Brathan's past…

-0-

**Being Brooke**

_Chapter 3: Let's Stay Together_

-0-

"Of course I remember showing you my secret spot," Brooke smiled, "It feels like it was yesterday."

Lucas ran his hands thru his hair, "I was so confused by you that day."

Brooke giggled, "How come?"

"Because before that day I didn't even think you knew I existed." Lucas took her hand in his and sat next to her, "I fell in love with you that afternoon."

Brooke felt the memories of junior year come flooding back to her, "It doesn't matter now does it." Brooke stood up to shake the sand from her sandals, "I mean you ended up where you were supposed to."

Lucas laughed, "You think so? Sometimes even I question my decisions."

"Why Luke?" Brooke asked.

"Why not?" Lucas paused, "I mean for some reason I've been remembering junior year more clearly recently. Like last night I dreamed of that day under the bridge. I remembered every freckle on your face," Brooke got up to move past him but he grabbed her hand, "I remembered the basketball game that by itself should have been the best moment of my life and it seems better now because you waited outside for me. Brooke Davis… head cheerleader waiting for ME… captain of the misunderstood youth of America."

Brooke smiled and hugged Lucas, "I thought you were the most real person in that entire school. I was just glad that you looked at me as more than a slutty cheerleader."

Lucas kissed the top of her head, "I did… I still do. You were my first love Brooke; I don't think feelings like that ever goes away."

Brooke felt a twinge of pain in her chest, "If your love for me never went away why did you cheat on me with Peyton?" Lucas opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the words, "see this is what I'm talking about," Brooke removed herself from his arms, "you wrote novels dedicated to your devotion to my best friend, so obviously you loved her more. I'm gonna head back now. Peyton is probably wondering where I am."

Lucas looked confused by her words but just nodded, "Brooke…" she turned, "I just miss the way we used to talk."

Brooke turned back towards the pier and left Lucas with his thoughts, it wasn't until she was back on the boardwalk that she wiped away the still falling tears and whispered to herself, "me too Lucas… me too."

-0-

Brooke saw the house come into view a short walk later and was instantly upset about the additional car she saw in the driveway. She decided to sneak into the back thru the mud room, "you should have used the front door." Nathan said from the chair in the corner.

"What are you doing here?" Brooke folded her arms at her chest, "I told you I didn't want to see you again, what part of that did you misunderstand?"

"Immediately on the defensive there's the Davis I know and love," Nathan smiled.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "you have a funny way of showing how much you love me Nathan Scott. If you drove all the way out here expecting me to run into your arms," Brooke shrugged, "well you can just forget it."

"Brooke baby," Nathan stood and walked to her, "I love you; I can't explain to you how sorry I am for what happened with Rachel. It was all a big mistake. I never meant for this to happen Brooke," Nathan touched her cheek, "you have to believe me."

Brooke felt the tears welling in her eyes, "I don't have to do anything Nathan." Brooke didn't wait for a response and hurried up the stairs to the guest bedroom she frequently occupied. She locked the door behind her and threw herself onto the bed.

"So after some careful thought," Brooke turned to see Jake standing against the armoire.

"Are you like some sort of a ghost?" Brooke pulled her hair into a bun, "Am I the only one that can see you?"

Jake grinned, "No I am not a ghost… You know what I am Brooke."

Brooke thought for a moment, "Life therapist?"

"Exactly," Jake smiled again, "I think the best place for you to go is #11."

Brooke scratched her head, "I really should have photocopied that list… #11," she paused, "Refresh my memory please?"

Jake slowly opened his jacket and removed a slip of paper and handed it to Brooke, "here… now please keep up. We have a lot of ground to cover."

Brooke scanned the list and began to cry, "I'm pathetic aren't I?"

Jake's smiled turned to a frown at the sight of Brooke's tears, "Hey… none of that. You aren't pathetic Brooke Davis," he handed her a monogrammed handkerchief; "you're simply lost. I am here to help you find your way." Brooke nodded, "Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?"

Brooke smiled, "yes… It was one of mine and Peyton's favorites when we were younger."

"Well think of me then as the scarecrow, the tin man and the cowardly lion all rolled into one." Jake patted her back gently, "We," he motioned between the two of them, "will get you to the Emerald City."

"Thanks…" Brooke smiled, "So #11 huh… I don't even know why I regret that one…"

Jake stood up opened the closet door, "sex tapes at 16?" Jake questioned, "Who wouldn't regret it?"

-0-

*January 2000*

Brooke opened her eyes and noticed the beach house. "OK… now if I remember correctly this is the night after Lucas's big game," she began pacing, "but I changed some things when I was here before. Lucas should be inside." Brooke smiled, "So there is no way I can sleep with Nathan."

"Are you talking to yourself," Peyton called behind her, "just don't start answering your own questions." Peyton smiled, "I heard that's a bad thing."

Brooke smiled and hugged her friend, "So how are you and Nathan doing?"

Peyton shrugged, "We're over for good I think. He's in love with someone else."

"Oh my god! Peyton I didn't know, why didn't you tell me?" Brooke asked.

"I didn't want to believe it myself," Peyton wiped at a stray tear she let escape, "but telling you makes it real. I just wish I knew who the little bitch was."

"Well when we find her I get first dibs." Brooke smiled and hugged Peyton, "you know what you need?"

Peyton looked at her empty glass, "another drink?"

Brooke giggled, "No… You need an extracurricular activity," Brooke grabbed her hand and led her back to the house, "like cheerleading."

"There is no way in hell you're gonna get me in cheer," Peyton laughed.

-0-

Brooke spotted Nathan a short while later, "I need to talk to you Scott." She didn't even wait for a response before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him towards his bedroom.

"Davis if you wanted to get me alone all you had to do was ask," Nathan said moving his hands to her breasts.

"Yuck, don't flatter yourself." Brooke shimmied out of his arms. "I heard why you and Peyton broke up." Nathan nodded, "So what's her name?"

"Who's name?" Nathan smiled.

"The girl you're in love with," Brooke crossed her arms, "Peyton is really upset so I want to see who the slut is that can't keep her hands off other people's boyfriends."

Nathan laughed now, "You really want me to tell you?" He took a drink from a red cup on his dresser. "It's you," he mumbled.

"What's me?" Brooke asked.

"The girl I'm in love," Nathan crossed to her, "I'm in love with you Davis." He leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips.

Brooke felt herself get caught up in the moment and kissed him back, when she came back to reality she pushed him, "Are you high Nathan?"

Nathan looked confused, "No."

"Well what would ever give you the thought that kissing me was a good idea?" Brooke felt her cheeks grow warm.

Nathan shrugged, "I don't know how it happened Brooke. Honestly I wish I did." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "I've wanted to tell you so many times. That's why I ended things with Peyton. No one deserves to be the second choice."

Brooke nodded; she knew how it felt to be second. "You're too late Nathan… I am sort of seeing Lucas."

Nathan punched the top of the dresser causing a trophy and a pile of folded laundry to tumble to the floor. "I know. I saw you with him the afternoon, I saw you waiting for him after the game, I saw you show up to my party at MY house with him." Nathan collapsed on his bed and put his head in his hands, "I was gonna tell you how I felt tonight. That's why at lunch I made sure you were gonna be here."

Brooke felt like she was going to be sick, the pained looked on Nathan's face was the same look she had on her own in the present. She put her hand on his back and her head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry Nathan." She didn't wait for a response; she didn't feel like she could deny him again.

-0-

"Hey Peyt have you seen Lucas?" Brooke asked when she found Peyton in the living room with another drink in her hand.

"He told me to tell you he would see you tomorrow. Haley came and forced him to leave," Peyton shook her head, "she was ranting like a crazy person. And I don't think she owns anything other than that ridiculous poncho she wears at school."

Brooke laughed, "She should be our next project."

Peyton laughed, "Yeah good luck with that. Maybe you should ask her to join cheer."

"No I'm serious," Brooke smiled, "she needs more friends than just Lucas."

"Are you jealous she's gonna try and make a play for him or something?" Peyton raised an eyebrow, "keep your friends close and your enemies' closer kind of thing?"

Brooke slapped Peyton's knee, "No nothing like that. I don't think she has any interest in Lucas romantically. He told me they've known each other since like birth."

"So," Peyton laughed, "incest is best."

"Gross P. Sawyer… even for you" Brooke laughed.

"Are you about ready to go home? I drove here with some of the cheer crowd," Peyton pointed towards a topless Bevin, "and it doesn't look like she's sober."

Brooke laughed, "No it doesn't. Let me go get my purse." Brooke wandered back towards the den where she had left her things and noticed how trashed the house was. "OK let's go. We better grab Bevin too… I can't have any pregnant cheerleaders now can I."

-0-

After dropping off Peyton and a very drunk Bevin Brooke had planned on going home. But her car had other plans and before she knew it she was back at the beach house. Her heart was conflicted; the 16 year old girl that was trapped inside her loved Lucas Scott, but the 28 year old woman she would eventually become was in love with his brother. Before heading to the house Brooke searched her car for sweats and a tank top and quickly changed. She opened the front door her heart hammering in her chest, "Nathan?" she called out.

Nathan appeared at the landing upstairs, "Davis? What are you doing here?"

"I came to offer my services," she saw the devilish grin appear on Nathan's face, "cleaning services," she added.

Nathan jogged down the stairs, "if that's what you had to tell yourself to feel alright with your decision to come back here that's fine with me."

"So where do want me to start?" Brooke pulled her hair back into a high ponytail.

"I already picked up all the plastic cups. I was just lining up all the bottles of things I'm gonna need to tell Dan has to be replaced." Nathan said, "So you can help me by making the list for me. Your handwriting is a lot nicer anyways. Dan would appreciate it."

Brooke entered the kitchen and smiled, "we are totally a bunch of juvenile alcoholics" she went to the Bose system under the counter and found an oldies station. She was writing down the list when she recognized the song playing, "gotta love Al Green" she said with a smile. Brooke began dancing around the kitchen "I'm so in love with you, whatever you want to do, is all right with me."

Brooke kept singing she was so caught up she didn't notice Nathan staring at her. Nathan smiled and entered the kitchen belting out the chorus, "Let's stay together, lovin' you whether, whether times are good or bad, happy or sad."

Brooke turned around her cheeks burning with embarrassment, she turned the radio down a little, "Sorry I just need background noise when I clean. I guess I got a little carried away."

"You don't need to be sorry Davis. You are pretty good actually." Nathan brought a stack of dishes to the sink.

"I'm only ok when I have a background track." Brooke laughed, "I'm almost done with my list. We should really implement some kind of system because we party too much."

"I don't enjoy it as much as I used too," Nathan said as he wiped off the counter and jumped to sit on it. "Besides if we get our fill of alcohol now what's gonna happen when we can legally do it."

"I'm sure you won't have a problem getting drunk when it's legal," Brooke smiled and started putting the bottles away.

"Thank you for coming back Davis." Nathan grabbed her as she headed to the shelves again and pulled her against him, "why did you come back tonight?"

Brooke felt her pulse quicken, "I told you already. I wanted to help you clean up. It isn't fair that the majority of the time you get stuck doing it alone."

"No there's more to it than that," Nathan smiled down at her, "I can see it in your eyes Davis. You can't lie to me."

He was right she couldn't lie to him, "I really just came back to help you out."

Nathan tilted her chin and kissed her, "liar."

-0-

*Present*

"Brooke?" Nathan called from behind the door. "Open the door damn it or I'm gonna break it down."

Brooke laughed when she heard Peyton in the background, "the hell you will. You break that door I'll break your face."

Brooke got up and went to the door, "what is it now Nathan?"

Nathan came in and closed and locked the door. "Come on Davis you have to forgive me."

"I don't have to do anything." Brooke snapped before sitting down on the bed, "why did you come out here Nathan?"

"Because I wanted to give you this," Nathan opened his hand and produced a small velvet box.

Brooke gasped when her breath caught in her throat, "that better not be what I think it is Nathan Royal Scott."

"It isn't I swear," Nathan opened the box to reveal a small platinum locket with a two stone setting, "It's our birthstones," he added, opening the locket to reveal two small pictures of themselves.

Brooke started to cry, "why do you do this every time?" Brooke cried harder, "when we broke up in high school it was because you wanted to go out with Haley. Why can't I be enough for you?" Brooke realized her memories were different now. Brooke and Nathan had been a couple since the party that night, until they broke up right before graduation.

"I thought we were passed all that Davis?" Nathan ran his hands thru his hair, "We agreed after Haley and Chris got married that we wouldn't talk about it again. It was a mistake. You have to remember, you told me you thought you had feelings for Lucas. So we took a break and Haley helped me get thru it all… I was confused." Nathan paused, "Rachel didn't mean anything to me. I just got scared ok… It's always been you Davis. I just lost my way is all?"

Brooke was sobbing uncontrollably now, she stood up and slammed her fists into his chest, "then why did you do this to me?" She hadn't wanted to break down in front of him but she couldn't hold it back any longer, the high school she once remembered was now gone, all she could picture was her past with Nathan… Her love for Lucas became a distant memory.

Nathan took the beating he knew he had deserved it and when she began to sob he pulled her close, "I don't know how to be happy. I'm so sorry baby. You deserve so much better than this." He wiped at his own tears, "I'm going to return to Los Angeles early, give you your space alright." He touched her cheek and kissed her mouth softly, "I love you."

Before Brooke could say anything Nathan left and a few minutes later she heard him peel out of the driveway. Brooke squeezed the pillow she was holding tighter to her chest. She heard a light tapping on the door, "Are you alright?" Peyton asked.

"Yeah," Brooke moved away her now matted hair, "I forgot how much history we had together."

Peyton laughed, "How could you forget? We weren't friends for like 3 months after that."

Brooke moved over so Peyton could join her on the bed, "I'm sorry. I don't know if I told you that enough back then." Brooke still remembered what it felt like when she had caught Lucas and Peyton together. "I swear nothing happened until you two broke up," Brooke shook her head, "I'm not even sure how it all happened to be honest."

"It doesn't matter now does it?" Peyton smiled, "I'm going to run into town and go to the grocery store. Do you need anything?"

"No P. Scott," Brooke sighed, "I think I'm alright now."

Peyton laughed, "Are you feeling ok?" Peyton touched her forehead, "you feel a little warm."

"No I'm fine." Brooke smiled, "and you've been Peyton Scott long enough, it's about time I called you by your real name."

"OK," Peyton went to leave when she noticed _An Unkindness of Ravens_ on the bedside table. "Where did this come from?"

"I brought it with me," Brooke picked it up and flung it on the bed.

"Interesting reading choice all things considering," Peyton hugged her and headed downstairs.

Brooke looked at the book and noticed it was thicker than she remembered. She flipped it over and read the back… _Lucas Scott's marvelous interpretation of first love lost will be a classic in the years to come._ 'Did I miss something?' Brooke thought to herself as she continued, "_I love you Lucas I do, but it isn't enough… I think my feelings for Nathan have always been there. I'm sorry I hurt you," Before I could respond she ran outside into the rain. The hallways were buzzing the next day with news of Tree Hill's latest power couple. 'How long will they last' people whispered. I didn't care all I knew was that Brooke Davis only had eyes for my brother…_ Brooke put the book down and was shocked. 'Well that explains why he looked at me so strangely,' Brooke thought. She immediately turned to the prologue and began to read Lucas's love story that had originally been a love profession to her best friend…

-0-

So whatcha think? Let me know by submitting a review…

Thanks!

Krystal

Upcoming: Brooke comes to terms with how one decision altered her life…


	4. You Can't Always Go Home Again

BDavisLScott23: I'm glad you decided to continue reading after the Pucas scenes… I'm happy to report that there aren't of those in this chapter…

Long Live Brucas: Yeah every time Brooke returns to the past she slightly alters the future. And I thought incorporating him pining for Brooke would be cool… Especially since on the show the only one he ever cared about was Peyton…

Todd: I have decided that you are never satisfied, and after reading this chapter it's gonna be worse… LOL

Cloverx3: Thanks for the review… This chapter doesn't have any Brathan, but I hope you keep reading and let me know what you think… Thanks!

Fggt 16: Unfortunately there isn't any Brathan in this chapter… But please keep reading and let me know what you think…

Brulian equals forbidden love: You'll be happy to know that this chapter has a couple Brulian scenes..

**Being Brooke**

_Chapter 4: You Can't Always Go Home Again_

-0-

Brooke had stayed up all night reading Lucas's book. Parts had made her laugh, parts had made her cry. She ran her hands thru her matted hair and decided to take a walk. She put on her favorite sweatshirt and walked to the beach. She sat down on the sand and instantly became mesmerized by the waves crashing against the shoreline "Jake are you out there?" she called aloud, "If you are I could really use some life therapy." She heard footsteps behind her so she hopped to her feet, "I know you said this was more like Wizard of Oz… but I think I wanna call you Yoda." She had finished her last sentence before she realized it wasn't Jake, "Lucas?"

"Who's Jake?" He asked putting his hands in his pockets, "and why are you in therapy?"

"It's a long story," Brooke shrugged, "what are you doing out here?"

"I watched you leave," he smiled his familiar brooding smile, "Peyton said you were reading Ravens. I really wish I could go back in time and stop that book from being published."

"Why?" Brooke asked, "It was an amazing book Luke… really."

"I know it was a good book…" He laughed, "Much better than the crap The Comet…"

Brooke had never read it, although now that didn't seem to matter, 'it could be about goldfish for all I know' Brooke thought, "I'm sorry I hurt you so much Luke."

"Oh don't worry about it Brooke," Lucas looked down, "you were right earlier… My life is good."

"It's more than good Lucas… It's amazing. You and Peyton have everything I've ever wanted. I mean look at you, you're a successful writer. Peyton shows frequently in several prominent galleries…" Brooke suddenly felt incredibly sad, "you're living the American dream Luke."

Brooke pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek and then headed towards the road, "one thing you said yesterday doesn't make sense though…"

Brooke spun around, "and what would that be?"

"You said I cheated on you with Peyton," Lucas stepped closer, she could almost feel his breath on her face, "we were an item a grand total of 12 hours when would I have had time to cheat on you?"

Brooke didn't know how to respond, he had cheated on her originally and in past take 1… it wasn't until she went back a second time that that had changed, "I was running a bit of a fever yesterday. I said some pretty obscure things. Did you get a chance to see Nathan before he left?"

Lucas laughed, "Why would I care about Nathan?" He headed back towards the path, "we haven't really talked much since we were on a basketball team together."

-0-

Brooke slowly made the trek back to the house behind Lucas. She felt hot salty tears fall down her face; she couldn't bring herself to wipe them away. She crept slowly up the stairs and headed to her room where she found Jake reading her tattered copy of _An Unkindness of Ravens_. "Interesting book," Jake said closing it and motioning for Brooke to sit with him. "So things have changed since we saw each other last. Did it make a big enough impact for you?"

Brooke felt like she could strangle him on the spot, "I destroyed a relationship between two brothers. If they didn't become best friends' senior year who was Lucas's best man when him and Peyton got married?"

Jake looked sullen, "Julian Baker was the best man… You should know you were engaged to him at the time."

Brooke felt as if she had been hit with a ton of bricks, "What? Julian and I were never that serious."

Jake removed the list from his jacket pocket, "#11 changed that."

"How is that even possible?" Brooke huffed, "Julian didn't even go to school with us." She strained to remember when they had originally met Julian.

Jake handled her a new list, "you need to pick your next destination."

Brooke looked at the altered list, "can I go back to something I've already changed? Because I might not have been happy before but at least my family was."

Jake shook his head, "I wish it were that simple but those aren't the rules."

"Do you have some sort of a supervisor I can speak to then?" Brooke crossed her arms.

"Just look at the list." Jake urged, "We don't have all day."

Brooke scanned the list, everything seemed so trivial now, "is there any way I can make Nathan and Lucas be friends again?"

"It depends," Jake said, "so are you ready?"

"Some of these are crossed off and I didn't go to them yet," Brooke noticed, "like #19…"

"Oh yes," Jake drummed his knuckles on the desk, "I am happy to report that some girl named Rebecca deflowered Chase Adams his freshman year at Stanford University."

"But if I didn't go back and change it why didn't it still happen?" Brooke asked.

"Because you changed it when you made the choice to get involved with Nathan… You never even knew Chase Adams." Jake laughed, "You and the Clean Teen didn't travel in the same circles if you catch my drift."

"If Nathan and I were so happy why was I engaged to Julian?" Brooke asked.

"OK, I'm totally breaking the rules right now," Jake leaned in close, "those memories are fuzzy still until you go back and fix it or not fix it. Plus add in all of your previous 'memories' and your brain is on overload." Brooke nodded, "so you and Nathan dated till right before graduation."

"Right, I remember that," Brooke replied, "when this is all over am I gonna have all of my memories back?"

"When we're done here all the old memories will in a sense be deleted from your memory bank and be replaced with complete permanent altered memories. OK back to you and Nathan after graduation you two went your separate ways. He went to Duke to play basketball; you went to USC in Los Angeles where you met Julian Baker. You two instantly hit it off and became an item." Jake paused remembering Julian's death, "then five years ago you and Nathan reconnected."

"If I keep changing my past is my future with Nathan going to change?" Brooke asked.

Jake continued, "It's quite possible. If you had somehow altered your life so that you and Lucas had lived happily ever after you would no longer be a god mother to Keith and Ellie."

Brooke brought a hand to her face, "I never thought of that. I love those kids I don't think I could live without them in my lives."

"You could," Jake continued, "Because you wouldn't even know they had ever existed." Jake retook his place next to Brooke on the bed and grabbed her hand, "Now which number are we trying next?"

Brooke could feel the tears coming at the mere thought of seeing Julian's face again. "#12… If I had never met Julian he would be alive today."

"Good choice Brooke." Jake smiled and snapped his fingers.

-0-

*November 2002*

Brooke adjusted the glasses that were now on her face and tried to gage where and when she was. 'OK it looks like my dorm hall' Brooke turned towards the announcement wall and spotted one that looked promising: _Lonely for Thanksgiving? Can't Afford to go home? Don't want to go home? Come to the Lamda Delta Phi annual Thanksgiving kegger party. Hot girls get in free… And remember you can't always go home again… The festivities begin November 23__rd__ 6:00pm._ Brooke smiled, 'I met Julian at that party.' She closed her eyes and strained to remember anything that happened since graduation.

"Brooke?" a feminine voice called behind her.

"Sloane" Brooke remembered, "When are you leaving to go home?"

"In about an hour, I was looking for you so I could say goodbye and make sure you still don't want to go with me." Sloane smiled her best smile, "Come on it's the Bahamas…"

Brooke smiled thinking of Sloane as she knew her in the future; she had been discovered by the Ford Modeling Agency in this very dorm. "No I'm fine here I promise. I might just work on my collection a little; go see a museum or something. But you have fun for me OK. Come back with a killer tan and I'll hate you forever." Sloane hugged her and returned to grab her bags. Brooke realized she was all alone again. She decided to check her emails and collect her thoughts, 'maybe there will be something I can use,' Brooke pulled out the rickety desk chair that she remembered buying at a flea market for $3.00. "I still have you in my house," she said aloud. After waiting for what seemed an eternity for her computer to boot up she opened her email.

_From: HaleyBop83_

_To: __B.P. Davis_

_Subject: It's been awhile… _

_Hey Brooke:_

_I just wanted to drop you a quick email and let you know that I was going to be in your neck of the woods in January. The tour has been amazing; I just wish that Nathan wasn't still being such a worry wart and Chris Keller. I mean come on the guy refers to himself in the third person. Who would ever find that irresistible? _

Brooke paused; remembering Nathan's words from yesterday, "you found it irresistible Hales."

_Anyways I'm bummed you decided to skip Thanksgiving in Tree Hill… I'm guessing you are anyways, since you can't be bothered to call anyone back. We're all going to miss you. Peyton and Lucas broke up. I don't know if you heard. Now she's seeing some guy named Ben, Lucas is pretty upset about it. But I mean honestly what did he think was gonna happen when he published that Ravens book? I know you said you weren't going to read it but you might find it interesting to relive high school thru Lucas Scott's eyes. _

_Anyways I gotta run now… Let me know if you want tickets to January's show._

_Lots of Love!_

_Hales_

Brooke remembered vaguely that Haley and Nathan had begun quietly dating 2 weeks after graduation. They had been inseparable since… Well unless Haley was discovered singing karaoke in a local night club and recorded an album that was a huge success on the pop charts. 5 months ago she went on tour, as the opening act, with Chris Keller… Pop Legend. "Now if I remember correctly," she said aloud, "they eloped in Las Vegas in 2003." Brooke giggled, "Haley didn't even tell Nathan he read about it in the magazines… I guess that explains his asshole tendencies." Brooke scrolled thru the mostly spam messages and found one from Peyton.

_From: Peyton_GothPrincess_

_To: B.P. Davis_

_Subject: Earth to B. Davis… P. Sawyer Calling!!_

_Hola Chica!_

_How is sunny Southern California treating you about now? Right now I'm seriously wishing I had gone to Berkley. NYU is amazing and all but this snow just plain sucks. Have you ever heard of a White Out??? Well we had one here like a week ago and the dorms were on complete lock down. We weren't allowed to go anywhere. Then the pipes froze and the power went out. I survived on Cheetos, Ring Pops and Red Bull for 2 whole days… I still have a little bit of a twitch. _

_Anyways I know I haven't been the best friend these last few months but can you blame me? I mean in high school my boyfriend of 3 years falls in love with you without you doing anything, except being your normal bubbly energetic self, then Lucas writes a book about you. Did you even know he liked you in high school? I know you guys hung out like 2 minutes before you and Nathan got together but I didn't think you made such an impact on him… _

_So I'm sure you heard we broke up… Lucas has probably been banging down your door ever since… LOL I'm totally kidding… I'm sort of seeing this guy Ben; he's the R.A. on my floor. Totally hot, super sweet, plus he's in a band… _

_Well I hope you're doing well I was sorry to hear about your Dad… I mean I know you haven't always gotten along with Richard and Victoria but I had always hoped they would wake up one day and realize they needed their ONLY daughter. Did you even go to the funeral??? _

_I should get going I have my last midterm in about 15 minutes… Are you coming home for Thanksgiving? Hales asked me but I wasn't sure… See you soon I hope._

_Love you B!_

_Peyton_

In the midst of everything that was going on she found that she had completely forgotten about Richard Davis's death. Brooke slowly began to remember the details of that day only a month ago. According to Victoria they had been staying at some ritzy hotel on a golf course on Saint Marten's. Richard had gone down early to play a round of golf and was found several hours' later dead of an apparent heart attack. Victoria hadn't even bothered to call her till they returned to the states. "And she wonders why I never return her calls," Brooke said rolling her eyes. She continued to scroll thru the emails and stopped on one with a familiar address…

_From: __BroodyBoy3_

_To: __B.P. Davis_

_Subject: Stop Ignoring Me Damn it!_

_Brooke:_

_Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Ravens before it was published. I honestly didn't think it would be as successful as it has been. I've already been approached by a few Studios interested in optioning it into a movie or a television series. None of it matters though if you won't talk to me. I know you're upset because Peyton took this all out on you. But you can't ignore me forever. We've been friends way too long for something this small to change that._

_I'm going to be in Los Angeles at a book signing on November 22 at 2:00pm. Be there please… I need to see you._

_Waiting For A Reply…_

_Lucas_

Brooke reread the email and then deleted it without sending a reply. "You need to get over me now Lucas… Or it's going to destroy your marriage in the future." She was about to delete the last page of junk mail when a message caught her eye…

_From: __Lucy__ Stevens Rogue Vogue_

_To: __B.P. Davis_

_Subjects: Congratulations!!! You're a Finalist!!!_

_Dear Brooke Davis:_

_Please let me be the first to congratulate you on your amazing collection. You have been selected to participate in our Rogue Vogue Fashion Show in Los Angeles January 8__th__ thru the 12__th__. After the Thanksgiving holiday one of our seasoned fashion executives will be contacting you with further information. Please be prepared to showcase a ten (10) outfit runway collection that features one article of swimwear and one full length gown. _

_Each contestant will be outfitted with $5,000.00 to be sent via FedEx and requires contestant signature upon delivery. _

_If you have any questions please contact me directly at (800) 555-6867._

_Good Luck with your collection! We all can't wait to see it…_

_Sincerely:_

_Lucy Stevens_

_Editor Large – Vogue Magazine_

Brooke stared at the email for several minutes thinking she had just been dreaming, "How did I get submitted to Rogue Vogue?" She was interrupted by a knock at the door. She looked thru the peep hole and saw the hat of a pizza delivery man. She opened the door, "I didn't order a pizza."

The delivery guy looked up and smiled, "I know you didn't… But I figured with all this time travel you must be starving."

"Jake what are you doing here?" Brooke asked putting her hand on her hip.

"I told you…" Jake entered the small dorm room and closed the door, "I thought you might be hungry. So how's it going so far?"

Brooke giggled, "I've only been back like 30 minutes. I was mostly trying to get my bearings. So I thought I would do a typical daily activity. It's hard to be normal when my memory is fuzzy." Brooke took her place back at the desk and watched as Jake produced plates, napkins, glasses, bottled water, sandwiches, salad with dressing packets and assorted fruit out of the pizza container. "I know I said you were more like Yoda… But that was totally a Mary Poppins kind of move." Jake set the bag down and Brooke examined it.

Jake laughed at Brooke as she stuck her head inside the bag, "So I am here to answer any of your memory questions." Jake stretched his arms over his head, "what do you wanna know?"

"I thought it was against the rules for you to help me?" Brooke asked.

"Typically it is," Jake continued, "But Management has decided that you need help. I mean look at you the last time you went back you altered her future so greatly that you ended up at USC instead of NYU and the people around you have changed as well. Because you and Lucas never had that shining moment he spent his young adult life wondering what could have been. He wrote a book about you even. He doesn't speak to his own brother because of you."

Brooke began to cry, "I hate this!"

"I'm just giving you the facts Brooke. I need you to relax." Jake sighed, "There is still plenty of things to change or keep untouched. But right now I need to get you prepared to see Julian again."

Brooke began taking deep breaths, "If I originally went to NYU with Peyton how do I remember Sloan?"

"You were supposed to meet Sloan eventually. It just so happens that when you saw her today you remembered her from your future. But now that should be fading away…" Jake trailed off.

"In this altered life I went to see Lucas at his book signing." Brooke crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm not going to go this time."

Jake clapped his hands together, "That's my girl. You're learning. OK what if I told you right now I could you where to find Julian Baker… I know you didn't meet him before for at least another few days."

Brooke blurted out, "Tell me."

Jake pushed a plate of food towards her, "Eat up and I'll fill you in."

-0-

Brooke headed towards the Student Union. Julian was conducting a rally for better healthier food choices in the cafeteria, "If they offered more salads and less hamburger toppings we would have fewer freshmen complaining about the freshman 15 lbs." Everyone applauded, "If you're interested in becoming a part of our email list signup sheets are to the left, if you're interested in signing the petition about cafeteria food it's to the right. And please remember everyone," He caught eyes with Brooke, "We need to stand together… One School."

"One voice," the crowd replied together.

Brooke felt like she couldn't breathe, 'he looks just like he did the last time I saw him 6 years ago,' He walked towards her, "So where do I sign up?"

Julian smiled, "Madam President it's so nice of you to join us. It would mean a lot to me if you would sign my little petition." Julian extended his hand, "Julian Baker."

Brooke recalled now running and winning the position of student council president in August, "Brooke Davis."

It was beginning to get noisy in the cramped Student Union; Julian moved close and placed his hand at her waist and leaning in so close Brooke felt his breath on her face, "Do you want to go outside?"

Brooke nodded and Julian led her to the benches outside, "You were amazing."

Julian laughed, "Please you walked in right at the end of my speech."

Brooke felt her cheeks redden, "But what I heard was incredible."

"Well thank you that means a lot to me," Julian smiled, "The crowd was decent considering how empty the campus has been this week."

"Yeah," Brooke pushed a strand of raven hair behind her ear, "I guess holding a rally when 75% of the campus has gone home for Thanksgiving wasn't the smartest choice."

Julian laughed again and shrugged, "It was the only day available on the activities calendar I had to take it."

"Yeah," Brooke smiled and touched his hand, "So why are you still here?"

"On campus?" Brooke nodded, "My home life sucks… I'd rather spend Thanksgiving alone than with my parents."

"I know what you mean," Brooke said recalling the last time she had been with her parents on Thanksgiving… She had been 8 years old.

"Oh come on," Julian touched his scruffy face, "You can't tell me that you come from a broken home."

Brooke felt offended, "So because I'm not holding rallies for change and I don't frequent political demonstrations that must mean my home life is perfect?"

"Yeah," Julian replied, "I mean I've seen you all over campus… You're the perfect example of a society princess here on their parents' dime."

Brooke felt warm tears pooling in her eyes, she stood up to leave, "You don't have any idea about me Julian. I have to go." Brooke began to run towards her dorm hall.

-0-

Brooke wondered why she was still in the past, 'I'm never going to speak to him again so he'll be able to live a long life,' Brooke heard a knock at the door. She pulled it open expecting to see Jake, but was shocked it was Julian. "What do you want?"

Julian moved closer to the open door, "Can I come in?"

"I don't see the point," Brooke replied harshly, "You wasted you time coming all the way over here." Brooke went to close the door but Julian put his foot in the way.

"Come on Brooke, 5 minutes," Julian smiled, "That's all I'm asking for."

Brooke kinked an eyebrow at him trying to figure out the game he was playing, "Alright," she opened the door wider, "But all you get is 5 minutes." Brooke went to the small 'kitchen' and grabbed a timer and set it to 5 minutes. She sat back down at her desk and crossed her legs, "If I were you I would start talking, the clock is ticking."

Julian finally entered the room and pulled a bundle of calla lilies from behind his back, "These are for you."

Brooke took the flowers and glanced at the timer, "4 minutes and 15 seconds."

Julian pushed his hands into his pockets, "Look I'm sorry I judged you back there. I shouldn't have. You were right I don't know anything about you." Julian sat on the bed across from the desk, "So why don't you tell me?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" Brooke barked, "My parents preferred traveling the world to spending time with me? How's that for a shocker." Julian opened his mouth to speak but Brooke continued, "Or how about," she choked, "my father died last month and my horrible mother didn't think I needed to know about it." Brooke began to sob.

Julian crossed the room and pulled Brooke into his arms and let her cry, "It's ok Brooke."

"It's not ok my dad is dead and he's never coming back. The worst part is that I didn't even go to his funeral." Brooke cried harder, "I was so angry I didn't go."

Julian rocked her back and forth, "Shhhh… Honey it's gonna be ok."

-0-

Brooke woke up the next day and felt a body next to her, 'oh god!' she screamed to herself. She tried to wiggle out of Julian's arms without waking him. She was almost off the bed when he stirred and grabbed her hand, "where do you think you're going?"

"Ummmm" Brooke struggled to lie.

"We didn't have sex if that's what you're wondering," Julian smiled, "You cried yourself out and fell asleep in my arms." Julian got out of bed and reached for his shirt. Brooke pushed him back down on the bed and kissed him, "Brooke what are you doing?" Julian called out between kisses.

"Shut up," Brooke said back sternly. She unbuttoned her top and thru it to the floor.

Julian pulled away, "Brooke come on honey you don't have to do this." He pulled her against his body and wrapped them in a blanket. "I didn't stay with you because I was looking to be rewarded."

Brooke nodded against his chest, "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be," Julian kissed her forehead, "now in a little while when we've both calmed down we should go see your dad."

Brooke had forgotten how wonderful and safe she felt in his arms. She felt like she was going to cry again so she just nodded. "Tell me about your crazy family."

Julian laughed, "Why do you wanna ruin it?"

-0-

Brooke sat in silence in Julian's truck all the way to the cemetery. "I don't know how you convinced me to do this."

Julian grabbed and kissed her hand, "I just used my powers of persuasion. After that you were a goner."

Brooke laughed slightly, "According to this paper he's in plot 47. So you need to make this next left and park. Then the search begins." Julian did as instructed. When he turned off the engine Brooke said, "You know I'm fine we don't have to do this."

Julian rolled his eyes, "yes we do. You need the closure Brooke."

Julian got out of the truck and came along to Brooke's side. "Come on honey. We've been shacked up in your dorm for three days now."

Brooke kinked her eyebrow, "I didn't hear you complaining last night."

"I'm not complaining now," Julian said pulling on her hand, "I know this is scary, but I'm here alright. You have to do this."

Brooke nodded her head, "I know." She pulled her purse over her shoulder and closed the door, "I just don't know what I'm supposed to say."

Julian led her across the street and took the map from her hand, "You say whatever you want to say. But you have to give him back the baggage Brooke. Or you're going to spend your life wondering what if."

Brooke knew he was right, she threw herself into work before and ignored Victoria at all costs, "OK let's do this."

Julian pointed towards a headstone that said 'Richard Warren Davis', he took her hand in his again, "I'm here if you need me."

Brooke studied the headstone, 'Loving husband and father.' Brooke started to laugh, "That's such bullshit." She felt the salty tears escape, "He never loved me. If he had he would have been there for holidays and birthdays and slumber parties." Brooke realized she had begun to shake, "Did you know that my parents didn't even show up to my own graduation?"

Julian shook his head and pulled her close, "It's alright. Let it all go."

She pulled a note from her purse and placed it on her father's grave, "I just needed you to love me daddy… That's all I ever wanted. Did you think of me before you died? Are you looking down on me from wherever you are thinking about what a horrible person you were?" Brooke shook her head, "I doubt it. I want you to know that I'm ok. I have a great family made up of loving friends. You didn't break me down and I will never be like you when I have children." She turned to Julian, "Let's go please."

Julian pulled her towards the car, "Are you alright Brooke?"

Brooke stopped and touched his cheek, "I've never felt better." She leaned up and kissed him. "Now come on if we hurry we can catch the next flight to North Carolina."

"What's in North Carolina?" Julian asked as he squeezed her tight.

"My family," Brooke pulled out her cell phone, "I need to call Peyton and Haley to tell them we'll be at Karen's for dinner."

-0-

*Present Day*

Brooke woke up in an unfamiliar place. "Where am I?" she said aloud. She heard kids giggling in the other room. "Hello?" She called into the hallway. Two kids came barreling down the hall.

"Aunt Brooke! Aunt Brooke!" The small blonde child said, "Mommy needs your help in the kitchen. You're the best at chocolate chip pancakes" Brooke studied the little girl who was at least 3 years old. 'She looks like Peyton' she thought.

"OK well let's go show her then," Brooke walked into the tight kitchen and spotted a very pregnant Peyton, "Hey P. Sawyer… Need any help?"

Peyton turned, "Yes. Ellie and Charlie requested the chocolate chip pancakes that Aunt Brooke always makes and I thought I've had them enough that I could recreate them," Peyton picked up a pan that was covered in a gooey chocolate mess. I was wrong."

Brooke laughed, "OK, why don't you go take a break. I've got it from here." Brooke scrambled some eggs and closed her eyes. 'I need to remember who she's married to now.' Suddenly the images came flooding back to her. Peyton and Ben were married 5 years ago and had 2 children, Charlie 4, Ellie 3 and a new baby about to arrive any day now… Vivian. Brooke looked down at her hand and noticed a band on that all important finger…

"It's amazing isn't it?" Jake called beside her, "How one small thing could bring about some mighty changes?"

"Jake I can't remember my husband." Brooke panicked, "why can't I remember him?"

"Gees… Isn't it obvious who it is?" Jake smiled, "I like Peyton a lot more this way. She seems much more relaxed." Jake said peering down the hall, "Not so high strung. So do you remember any of it now?" Brooke shook her head, "I know she's married to Benjamin Roberts. She met him at NYU 8 years ago. She is an art teacher and occasionally is the featured artist at a few local galleries. Ben is a music teacher at Julliard. They live in a converted brick warehouse that is currently undergoing an extensive renovation, which explains this make shift kitchen."

"Very good," Jake clapped, "Now what do you remember about yourself?"

Brooke closed her eyes, "I have a small boutique in Greenwich Village and I just opened a second one in the Tribeca neighborhood. I remember who I married…"

-0-

OK everyone… What do you think? Did she end up with Nathan, Lucas or Julian? I must be honest… I've written little pieces of all three… I'm really torn… I need your help… Review and let me know what you think…

Thanks!

Krystal

Upcoming: Brooke reveals who she married and has one last decision to make…


	5. True Love Isn't Exactly Warm & Fuzzy

Brulian Equal Forbidden Love: Sorry I left you hanging… I wanted to see what everyone thought… This chapter has some Brulian scenes so you'll be happy… Thanks for the review!

Dianehermans: Thanks for the review… If you really love Brucas you should check out a few of my other stories… I mostly write Brucas stuff…

Crazygurl93: Thanks for the review… And of course they all have jerky moments… All men do… LOL

Fggt16: Thanks for the review… Gotta love Nathan… He's one of the only reasons I still watch the show.

BDavisLScott23: Glad you liked the email part. I was trying to incorporate more of the other characters into Brooke's journey. And I thought changing the book was only fitting since on the show we're expected to believe that Lucas has only ever thought of Peyton. Thanks for the review!

Mickeiblue: Thanks for the review. And I love Brulian on the show… They're the best. Anything to counterbalance the yucky Leyton. LOL

VN200: Thanks for the review…

Vette89: Thanks for the review…

.Cinnamon: Thanks for the review… You are totally right, I mean if Mark had written it so Brooke moved on I would be 100% on board with any new relationship but because he kept trying to stick in little things it makes moving on impossible.

Cloverx3: Thanks for the review and I'm flattered this is your favorite story right now on fanfiction…

Alexandria: Thanks for the review… I've never been a Naley fan… Sorry… I find them on the show to be like such an old married couple they are completely nauseating to me… LOL

Ghostwriter: Thanks for the review!

.Cullen: Thanks for the review… I thought the time travel thing was the coolest thing ever… I mean who wouldn't go back and change something if they could right???

SunshineQueen: Thanks for the review… I like Brathan too… And we only get them in AU… LOL

FTW: I know I made Nathan a bit of an asshole.. It's because he never was tamed by Haley… Thanks for the review.

Long Live BRUCAS: I wanted this to be different… OTH sometimes makes no sense. I mean if two brothers who barely got along both decided they were in love with the same girl and one got her and not the other. I don't see them going skipping merrily thru life together… LOL And I think if Chris hadn't been such an idiot in the show, Haley running away with him wouldn't have been such a stretch… LOL Glad you kept reading after the Leyton stuff… Thanks for the review.

Jaimiee: Thanks for the review…

Todd: Sadly I think this story only has one more chapter… Maybe an epilogue… We'll see how it turns out. You'll be happy to know that there are some Bake scenes this chapter… Even a little joke from me to you… Hope you like it…

Thanks again to all the reviewers and everyone that set up story alerts… You guys are awesome…

Now a quick authors note… I'm sure after this chapter some of you are gonna be upset… Hopefully not too much though…

Thanks!

Krystal

**Being Brooke**

_Chapter 5: True Love Isn't Exactly Warm & Fuzzy_

-0-

"I ended up marrying Julian?" Brooke said stunned, "I guess I imagined it would have been…"

"Don't finish that sentence Brooke Davis-Baker." Jake smiled, "It's time for you to feel incredibly ill and tell Peyton you need to head home."

"Why?" Brooke paused, "I mean my life is great now."

Jake noticed the sadness in her voice, "Sure it is." He said sarcastically. "Come on we need to get going yeah? Tell Peyton you'll take her to lunch tomorrow or something. Pregnant women like that sort of thing right?"

Brooke turned around to argue but he was gone, "Why does he always do that?"

"Who does what?" Peyton asked from the hall.

"Nothing," Brooke turned and rubbed her temple, "Peyt I need to head home. I have the worst migraine coming on. I can feel it."

Peyton put her hand on her back, "Sure you do. I know why you want to go home." She smiled, "Julian is coming home tonight. So what do you have planned? Whips? Chains? Lotions? Lace?"

Brooke threw a dish towel at her, "Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer Roberts!" She steadied herself against the cabinet, she really did feel a headache coming on.

Peyton laughed, "Alright go home. The kids will be disappointed I'm sure." She turned back towards the hallway, "Charlie, Ellie?"

The kids came barreling into the kitchen, "Yes mama" they said in unison.

"Aunt Brooke is going to go home, she doesn't feel well." Peyton looked at her now pouting children, "Enough of that. Aunt Brooke is going to see you in a few days. Remember mommy has to go to the doctors soon."

Ellie clapped excitedly, "I know you do mama then I'm going to have a little sister to play with me." She pushed her older brother, "Charlie hates playing dolly's and tea party. He's always blowing stuff up with his G.I. Joes."

Brooke laughed, "Well that's fine. When you guys come to stay with me and Uncle Julian in a few days I'll play with you, I think we could even go pick out a new outfit for you to wear to the hospital to meet Vivian for the first time."

The kids ran up to Brooke and gave her a hug, "We love you Aunt Brooke."

Brooke felt the tears well in her eyes, "I love you guys too."

-0-

Brooke walked outside and found Jake waiting for her, cigarette in hand, "I didn't know ghosts could smoke?"

Jake puffed on his cigarette, "I'm not a ghost. Other people can see me."

"Fine, so why did I have to leave Peyton's?" Brooke asked as she followed him down the street.

"Because you aren't finished yet" Jake took one last hit off his cigarette and threw it in the gutter.

Brooke stopped at his words, "what do you mean I'm not done?"

"Look at your list," Jake said as he whistled for a cab.

Brooke removed the list from her pocket and noticed only two items remained. "So what do these have to do with anything?"

"Brooke," Jake paused to let her get into the cab, "Central Park please. The entrance by Park Avenue would be fine." Jake ran his hands thru his hair. "That list is a legally binding contract. You aren't finished until the list is finished."

"What if I had been happy after the first try?" Brooke asked.

"Then you would still have to go back and go thru it the way you originally did." Jake lied.

"OK," Brooke studied the list, "But if I change it again in the past will my life today change again?"

"It's quite possible. That all depends on you." Jake answered; staring at Brooke's confused face, "What's wrong?"

"# 17…" Brooke trailed off, "It's different. Why is it different?"

"Well," Jake paused again, "Let's see," Jake pulled out a small memo notebook. "#17 originally read 'kissing Lucas hours before he married Peyton'" He looked at Brooke and she nodded, "OK well obviously that didn't happen now. But, you did kiss him hours before Peyton got married, you ran into him at Peyton's engagement party. Think back you'll remember."

Brooke closed her eyes and remembered, "OK. So why is that so important?"

Jake laughed, "Do I need to spell it out for you?"

Brooke opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the cab driver, "Central Park."

Brooke exited the cab and waited for Jake to pay. He motioned for her to walk, "Where did I leave off?" He said aloud but it was mostly to himself, "You and Julian were married 3 days after Peyton and Ben. Is any of this ringing a bell yet?" Brooke shook her head, "Well maybe photos will jog your memory." Jake stopped in front of a corner brownstone, "This is you."

Brooke looked up at the imposing building, "How could Julian and I possibly afford this?"

Jake grabbed her purse and removed her keys, "That's easy. Julian the activist grew up to be Julian the heart surgeon."

-0-

Brooke sat down in the massive living room and waited for Jake. She had begun to cry because her memories weren't coming to her as quickly as they had before. Jake returned with 3 large boxes marked pictures and misc. stuff. "How come I don't remember that Julian is a heart surgeon?"

"This is a typical side effect," Jake said sitting next to her. "Let's see when you met Julian he was in his 2nd year of Medical School at USC. You were a sophomore. He decided to specialize in cardiology after meeting you."

Brooke cried, "Because of my father?"

"Yes, that's why he's away a lot of the time. He sits on several medical boards. He's a leading heart specialist Brooke. He helps people all over the world." Jake smiled. "Now which box do you wanna open first?" Jake pointed, "Nathan?" He pointed again, "Lucas? Or" he pointed to the third box, "Julian?"

Brooke shook her head, "it doesn't matter. I'm where I'm supposed to be. Julian loves me, that's enough."

"OK you're making this harder than it needs to be," Jake flipped open a pack of cigarettes and lit one up, "I haven't smoked in about 50 years. A week with you and I'm about ready to quit this job all together."

Brooke was offended, "what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if you're life was what you wanted it to be princess, I'd be gone and all your memories would be back." Jake puffed away, "You wouldn't even remember meeting me at all."

"But you just said that I had to finish the list?" Brooke was still confused.

"Exactly," Jake pointed, "If this was the life you were meant to have right now the list would be finished. But obviously since I'm still here it isn't." Jake scoffed. "Now what about #3… Why is that a regret?"

"Because Haley stayed on the tour and Nathan never recovered from it. He disappeared for like 2 years, no one knew where he was or what he was doing. He resurfaced and acted like nothing had happened." Brooke paused, "I was the one that told Haley to follow her dream."

"Alright," Jake snuffed out his cigarette with his fingers, "have you ever put yourself first? I mean the majority of the original list were all things relating to other people." He pulled out the notebook, "#2, Telling Peyton she deserved to have two dead mothers, #7, Fighting with Julian the night he died, #8, Letting Nathan get away with everything imaginable. The list goes on and on Brooke. What do you want with your life do you even know the answer?"

Brooke couldn't find the words, "I don't know."

Jake sat down in the big arm chair, "Well I'm not sending you back anywhere else until you figure it out. Now pick a god damn box."

"What if I decide I don't want to be with any of them?" Brooke asked.

Jake laughed, "That's impossible one of these men is destined to be your husband." Jake pulled out his blue notebook once more and flipped around till he found what he was looking for. "Brooke Davis, age 28, married with one child, Daniel Caleb age 3. Pregnant with baby #2, also a boy, name undecided." He flipped another page, "Successful independent fashion designer, several small boutiques around New York City."

Brooke was crying again, "Is my whole life in that notebook?"

"Just about," Jake added, "Best friends: Haley Marie James, age 28, married to Christopher Allen Keller, Grammy winning singer and songwriter. No kids as of yet, too busy touring the world together. Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer Roberts, age 28, married…" Jake paused, "You know the rest."

"Who else is in there?" Brooke asked.

Jake flipped another few pages, "Julian Nicholas Baker, age 33. Divorced, one child, Isabelle age 7, lives in London with her mother. Successful heart surgeon and cardiologist."

Brooke smiled knowing that Julian was still alive, "What about Nathan and Lucas?"

Jake smiled, "Oh yes the Scott brothers. Nathan Royal Scott, age 28 and Lucas Eugene Scott, age 29."

Brooke's ear perked up, "And?"

"Not a chance." Jake replied.

-0-

Brooke had spent 2 hours going thru the box containing her and Julian's past. Movie ticket stubs, concert tickets, wedding photos. "We had a happy life together." Brooke nodded, "Why isn't he the one? I mean he loves me and I love him."

"Yeah, but you see true love isn't exactly warm and fuzzy. You and Julian lack the passion to fight for each other. You married him because you were guilty over kissing Lucas." Jake said, piling everything back into the box, "You never told him about the kiss. You kept it to yourself as punishment. Does that sound like true love to you?"

"No," Brooke said, "Julian is one of the sweetest people I know and I spent a lot of my time being vulnerable in front of him. He helped me get over my father's death."

"Bingo!" Jake snapped his fingers, "You just hit the nail on the head. Julian was the male confidant you spent your life looking for. See it was never Nathan and it was never Lucas. You loved them both too much to let them all the way in. You were afraid, Julian not so much."

Brooke threw down the papers she was holding, "That isn't fair. I loved Julian greatly. When he died I felt like a part of me was missing."

Jake nodded, "I'm sure you did. You missed your best friend. I mean look at Peyton and Haley, you couldn't have ever told them about problems you had with Nathan or Lucas because they were the other women. Talk about awkward."

Brooke knew he was right, "Alright. So how do I decide if I'm meant to be with Nathan or Lucas?"

Jake pushed a second box towards Brooke, "You look at the history and follow your heart."

"That's hard Jake," Brooke huffed, "They both broke my heart at one time or another."

"Yes," Jake paused, "A heart can be broken, but you see it keeps beating just the same."

Brooke took the lid off the box and realized it was filled with stuff from her past with Lucas, "I can't help but think that if I was meant to be with Lucas it wouldn't be so difficult. I mean he originally cheated on me with my best friend. He even married her for crying out loud. How could he possibly love me as much as he says?" Brooke found his Keith Scott Motors sweatshirt, a very deflated basketball and several worn books. Brooke kicked over the box and watched as lover letters ad pictures puddle on the floor.

Jake sensed Brooke was about to scream, "How about we take a break?" Jake said pulling her towards the door.

-0-

*January 2003*

"Oh Brooke," Haley called to her, "I'm so glad you came." She hugged her and looked to the man standing to Brooke's left, "Hey Julian, nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you too Haley. How is the tour going?" Julian asked with a smile.

"Just amazing, Chris is phenomenal. A real talented musician, I was surprised," Haley's eyes lit up as she talked about him. "He'll be out here in a few minutes." Haley gave them one last hug, "I made sure your seats were front row center. I'll see you after the show."

Brooke was dazed, "He tricked me damn it." She muttered under her breath.

"Who tricked you honey?" Julian asked pulling her closer.

"Never mind," Brooke smiled, "It's nothing." Brooke and Julian were led to their seats by an usher. Brooke stopped when she saw who was sitting 2 seats away, "Lucas?"

Lucas stood up and smiled, "Brooke." He pushed passed the few remaining chairs between them and pulled her into a hug, "How've you been?" Lucas positioned himself between her and Julian. "Peyton told me about the Vogue thing. When's the show."

Brooke pulled away and grabbed Julian's hand and sat down, "A few months. What are you doing here?" She felt the hostility in her tone, she didn't care.

"Oh well you know Hales invited me. I haven't seen her perform yet. I was in town meeting with a few studio people. Exciting stuff," he smiled, "I don't know if you got my email a few months back, Ravens is being turned into a teen soap, we shoot the pilot in a few weeks. If it gets picked up it will premiere on the CW in the fall."

"I don't remember seeing anything from you," She lied. "That's nice Lucas. So are you seeing anyone special? You remember Julian don't you?" He voiced dripped with sarcasm.

Lucas frowned and shook Julian's hand, "Nice to see you again Julian. How are things?" Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Good actually, medical school is tough. But I might go to Cambridge next year for a year abroad." Julian smiled, Brooke squeezed his hand.

Lucas started to talk again but he was drowned out by the music keying up, "Hey everyone I'm Haley James. Thank you for coming. I wanna give a quick shout out to some special people in the audience. Brooke… Lucas… I love you both so much. It means a lot to me that you're both here."

-0-

Brooke got up between sets and headed to the snack bar, "Can I get a diet coke please." Brooke felt a hand move around her waist; she smiled and turned "Ju… Lucas! What are you doing?" Brooke paid for her drink and pushed passed him.

Lucas ran after her, "Brooke! Wait."

Brooke wanted to scream at him but when she faced him she couldn't find the words, "Where is your car?" Lucas looked befuddled by her words, "I'm not gonna fight with you here where everyone can see us. This is Haley's night, not ours."

"OK, let's go." Lucas led the way to the parking lot and pointed to the silver SUV. Brooke got into the back seat. Lucas slid in next to her. "Brooke what is this?"

Brooke began to slap at him, "I don't know what you want from me Lucas Eugene Scott!" She yelled, "I'm sorry that I picked Nathan over you. I'm sorry I single handedly destroyed your entire life, causing you to write that evil book about me. After it was published it practically annihilated my friendship with Peyton. Now you want me to be happy about our lives being turned into a television show." Brooke realized she was crying now, "What do you want from me?"

"I just wanted a shot Brooke," Lucas yelled back, "You led me on that day out at the bridge. I thought you felt something too. Then poof it was gone and you were with Nathan. I mean come on, Nathan the one person I have ever truly hated." He ran his hands thru his hair and punched the seat in front of him, "then to make matters worse you went on after that like nothing happened. Well I'm sorry nothing happened for you that day because EVERYTHING happened to me." Brooke didn't know what came over her at that moment but she pulled Lucas to her and kissed him with everything she had, "Brooke." He said out of breath.

Brooke put her hand on his cheek, "shhh you'll ruin it." With those words Lucas pushed himself against her and kissed her feverishly. Brooke tried frantically to unbutton his shirt. He moved his hand to her breasts, she moaned out in pleasure. He sat up and removed his shirt and removed his belt. Brooke removed her own shirt and lay back down.

*WARNING SEX SCENE*

Lucas was now kissing her breasts and rubbing on her stomach, "I've wanted this for so long Brooke."

Brooke heard his words and followed her heart, "I know Lucas," she pulled him back up to her mouth and kissed him. She could feel his erection against her thigh.

Lucas hesitated, "Brooke are you sure about this?" practically reading her thoughts.

"Yes Lucas." Brooke replied removing her bra and unzipping her skirt. Lucas followed suit and shimmied out of his jeans. He kissed her neck and worked his way down her chest and stomach. He slowly removed her skirt and kissed her pelvic bone. Brooke gasped, "Please Luke stop torturing me."

Lucas laughed slightly and continued kissing Brooke's pelvic bone. He watched her writhe in ecstasy and loved hearing her raspy voice whisper his name. He rubbed circles again her clit with his thumb and when he felt her close to climax he thrust himself inside her. He closed his eyes willing this dream to never end, he felt Brooke push hard against him. He heard her breath quicken and he plunged harder and harder into her until she called out his name and her body quaked with an orgasm. Lucas bent down to kiss her softly and Brooke dug her nails into his back. That was all Lucas needed to bring himself over the edge.

-0-

Brooke's brain was running a mile a minute. She couldn't believe what she had just let happen. She leaned over to grab her now crumpled clothes. "Stay a minute please," Lucas said extending his hand over her stomach.

"I can't Luke. Julian is going to be wondering where I went." Brooke scrambled to collect herself. She zipped up her skirt and re-snapped her bra. She exited the SUV without another word. She hurriedly pulled her top back over her head. She searched her purse for a brush.

Lucas looked outside and then exited the truck and zipped up his jeans. "Are you going to break up with him?" He tried to stay cool but he was worried about her answer.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Lucas." Brooke snapped back. She noticed in the side mirror that her skin was splotchy and had taken on an after sex glow.

She turned back towards the amphitheater and started walking. "Hey!" Lucas jogged towards her, still trying to put his own shirt back on, "That's it?"

"For now," Brooke paused then added, "That's all it can be. I'm sorry Luke I have a boyfriend."

Lucas grabbed her wrist and jerked her towards him, "That relationship just went out the fucking window don't you think."

Brooke caught a glimpse of fear in his eyes, she touched his face, "Julian doesn't deserve this Lucas. You don't deserve this either. Now please let me go. Haley's set is probably almost over and I wanna see her before she leaves."

Lucas laughed, "We just made love in the back of my truck." Lucas let go of her wrist, "Fine Brooke do whatever the hell you need to do. Tell Haley I had to leave. Publishing emergency," before she could respond Lucas had jogged back to his truck and peeled out of the parking lot.

-0-

"Have you seen Lucas?" Haley asked looking around.

"He said he had to leave. He said he would call you tomorrow and make it up to you," Brooke smiled. Julian had been looking at her questioningly since her return.

"Alright then, so I have a problem I need your help with." Haley smiled, "The record label asked if I would be interested in joining Chris for the international leg of the tour. I haven't spoken to Nathan about it yet but I think I wanna do it. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a great career opportunity Hales. Nathan would just want you to be happy." Brooke smiled.

"You think so?" Haley replied, "Sometimes I think he wishes I would stop touring and go home." Haley paused, "Plus I think I could learn some great things from Chris. He really is wonderful Brooke."

Brooke laughed, "So does Nathan know you're in love with someone else?"

"No, no one does," Haley said before thinking. She shot Brooke an alarmed look, before she could say another word Chris arrived.

"Hey Hales," Chris said, "You were amazing." He picked her up and spun her in a circle. "Miss Haley James ladies and gentlemen," Chris applauded.

-0-

The whole drive home was silent. Brooke got out the second Julian put the car in park. He walked her to her door, "I think I'm gonna take that internship at Cambridge next semester."

"Alright," Brooke replied, she could sense Julian was mad at her, "Did I do something tonight?"

Julian hissed, "You mean aside from sleeping with Lucas?"

Brooke felt her cheeks redden, "Julian I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what you did or sorry that you got caught?" Julian scolded.

Brooke wiped away a few tears, "For everything. I'm sorry for everything."

Julian stormed off, "Me too Brooke. Me too."

-0-

*Present Day*

"So," Jake smiled and drummed his finger tips, "How'd it go?"

"I had sex with Lucas, Julian broke up with me and I told Haley to stay on tour," Brooke opened her eyes and looked around the small modern living room, "Where are we now?"

"My place," Jake replied walking towards the kitchen he returned with 2 water bottles.

"Great I married you," Brooke laughed.

"Nope," Jake winked, "I prefer blondes."

"Then why are we here?" Brooke asked rubbing her temples before taking a drink of water.

"Because present Brooke no longer resides in New York City," Jake smiled.

"What are you talking about? You said I had a few boutiques throughout the city. How is that possible if I don't live here?" Brooke obediently took the two aspirin Jake handed her.

"Anything is possible if you will it to be so." Jake laughed, "Put it this way," Jake raised his hands, "Nathan is the left hand, Lucas is the right hand." Brooke nodded, "Nathan spends most of his time in Los Angeles, where he works" Jake shook the left hand, "Lucas on the other hand prefers North Carolina." He shook the right hand, "Now whoever happens to be your husband shares the two story loft with you right across the street there." Jake pointed. "So I should have said you don't reside here all the time. You're here a lot, but it isn't where you call home."

"Then why aren't we there right now?" Brooke asked, looking out the window trying to remember who she had finally picked.

"Because you Brooke Davis glitched the system," Jake pointed to the sheet of paper now in her hands. "The list still isn't finished, and your heart is so confused we feel conflicted about placing you in your place. We didn't want you to be influenced by the future."

Brooke growled with frustration before looking at the list, "How is it even possible that #17 still on the list?" She crumpled up the list and threw it across the room.

"It's there because it's still unresolved Brooke." Jake sat next to her and rubbed her hand in his, "You have to go back one more time. Then my job here is done and you get to live happily ever after." Brooke shook her head in disbelief and they laughed together.

-0-

So this chapter is completely different than I had originally planned it to be… But after all the reviews I received from Bruilan fans I decided they needed more of an ending than I was initially going to write. Hope you guys are satisfied. I have an awesome idea for a Brulian story… I'll be posting it in a few days so be on the lookout for it.

Now the Brucas and Brathan fans I feel like this story could go either way… Got any ideas?

Please review…

Krystal

Upcoming: Brooke travels back to the night of Peyton's engagement party on the arm of Nathan Scott, her beau for the past year… What will happen when she runs into Lucas again?


	6. Beautiful Disaster

Rosseyanna: Thanks for the review... This chapter we find out who she picked…

Escaping the Numb: Thanks for the review… I like the show too…

Cloverx3: Thanks for the review… Hope you like the ending and the Brulian story is called Love Behing Bars… I've posted 2 chapters already.

Ghostwriter: Thanks for the review…

Brulian equals forbidden love: # 17 was Lucas kissing Brooke at Peyton's engagement party. It was on her list…

Brookescott3: Thanks for the review…

Long Live Brucas: Thanks for the review… Hope you like the ending…

Btfldisaster: I know I wish we had more Brathan on the show… Sorry Naley fans… LOL Thanks for the review…

Meriahh: Thanks for the review…

Ryaughan: Thanks for the review… Hope you like the end-game couple…

Jessieclaire: Thanks for the review…

BDavisLScott23: Thanks for the review… Hope you like the ending… It was difficult to choose…

Mickeiblue: Thanks for the review…

Fggt 16: Thanks for the review…

Todd: Thanks for the review… And yeah gross… NBL threesome??? Maybe like in a fantasy completely AU world… LOL

-0-

**Being Brooke**

_Chapter 6: Beautiful Disaster_

Brooke began to cry again, "I feel like I've destroyed more lives than I've helped," she was now remembering her life up until Peyton's wedding. Julian left school the week after she slept with Lucas, without even a goodbye. "How come I'm with Nathan at Peyton's engagement party?"

Jake smiled, "Because you and Lucas only casually dated for like a year while he was in Los Angeles filming his television show."

"What happened after that?" Brooke asked.

"You both decided you were too different to pursue a more permanent relationship," Jake finished, "Well… Lucas decided it anyway, you were devastated."

Brooke was confused now, "But Lucas has always been in love with me, what happened?"

"He cheated on you with some production assistant named Lindsay." Jake paused, "Although he didn't see it as cheating since you guys never officially went out. You, on the other hand, flipped out."

Brooke gasped, "So new Lucas cheated on me still? I went back and changed it so he never cheated with Peyton and he still cheated on me?" Brooke shook her head, "It figures."

"Lucas Scott was supposed to cheat on you sometime in your life," Jake scanned his notebook, "It's on his pages. You could have rewritten history a million times and it would have still happened. Lucas is a self-sabotager, he's only happy when he's completely miserable."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "So why the hell did I still kiss him 6 years ago?"

Jake opened the door and motioned for her to follow, "But see that's where you're mistaken… You didn't kiss Lucas Scott, he kissed you."

-0-

*September 2005*

Brooke opened her eyes and found herself at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City. "Ben and Peyton's engagement party" she said aloud. Most people have an engagement party to celebrate getting engaged, Ben and Peyton had gone about it all wrong. Their parents had never formally met and Ben's mother decided a month before the wedding to throw them a lavish engagement party, 'to introduce Peyton to society' she had said. Brooke hated Mrs. Roberts the second she had met her, she always reminded her of her own horrid mother. Brooke also remembered a very panicked Peyton telling her she had never been so uncomfortable in all her life.

"There you are," Nathan said behind her, kissing her ear lobe as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Peyton has been looking for you everywhere. I guess Mrs. Roberts is insisting someone from Peyton's side of the family give a toast. And well…" Nathan paused with a laugh, "It's just you and me kid."

Brooke nodded, remembering that Larry had been stuck out in the Atlantic Ocean on a job and Derrick was on some super secret mission in the Middle East, Brooke laughed, "It's ironic that Mrs. Roberts threw this party to meet Peyton's family… And well we're practically it." Brooke kissed Nathan, "Tell her I'll be right there. I'm just going to powder my nose."

Nathan kissed her again and smiled, "Don't be long. I'm not exactly into speeches and she might make me stall until you get there."

Brooke giggled and headed towards the ladies room. She sat her purse down on the counter and tried to remember what she had said originally. She heard the door open behind her and she jumped when she saw who it was, "Lucas, this is a ladies room. The men's is on the other side."

"I know," Lucas slurred slightly, "I wanted to talk to you."

Lucas came up beside her and grabbed her, "Lucas stop, you've obviously had too much to drink."

"So how long have you and the basketball star been back together?" Lucas said releasing her.

"That isn't any of your business Lucas." Brooke touched up the powder on her nose and checked her eye liner. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to go make a speech. Or did you forget we're here for Peyton." She left without waiting for a response. She made her way back towards the ballroom and saw Nathan on stage. He looked like he was about to faint. She hurried and called out, "Thank you for keeping them entertained honey, I ran into a little snag in the ladies room." The diners laughed, Brooke embraced Nathan who kissed her on the cheek, there was a collective 'ahhh' in the room. Nathan took his seat at the table with Peyton and Ben and Brooke smiled, "Hello everyone. Some of you know me and some of you don't. I'm Brooke Davis and I'll be the maid of honor at the wedding next month. Tonight I'm also pulling double duty as Peyton's family, considering that both her father and brother were detained elsewhere." Brooke giggled, "So I'm sorry you're stuck with little old me." Brooke popped her hip out slightly and blushed at the several whistles that came from the room. Brooke then looked at Peyton and thought 'she was never this happy when she married Lucas' and realized this was one change she was proud of, "Peyton and I have been friends since the beginning of time… Back when Smurfs, Snorks and My Little Pony ruled our lives," she paused, "we were seven. Apparently we were both anti-social because our mother's got the brilliant idea that we would love being girl scouts." Brooke turned to Peyton again and saw the smile on her face, she knew where this story was going… "Peyton was smart and stayed out of my way until one day during crafts we started fighting over the blue glittered glue gun." Brooke winked at Peyton, "I won by the way, Peyton still has the scar to prove it," Everyone laughed as Peyton put up her hand and pointed to light scar on the top of her hand.

Brooke rolled her eyes sarcastically, "Anyways back to me," she waved her hands and got another laugh from the room, "I have loved her like a sister for as long as I can remember and I knew Ben was the one for her when she first told me about him. I mean what's not to love, look at him… Handsome face, perfect smile, rock hard abs, perfect little butt…" Brooke trailed off for a moment, "Mrs. Roberts do you have any other sons, perhaps Ben has a secret twin we don't all know about?" Mrs. Roberts laughed and shook her head. "Damn," she turned back to Peyton who was now in tears, "I love you P. Sawyer, more than you will ever know. I'm so happy I get to share this day with you, I look forward to your wedding day and the many more happy days to follow." Brooke held up her glass and wiped away her own tears, "To Peyton and Ben."

The DJ grabbed the mike from Brooke and as she went back to her seat she heard his say, "That's a tough act to follow, but would anyone else care to share a few words?"

A small manicured hand rose from the back of the room, "I would. I am after all the third musketeer."

Peyton and Brooke nodded together, "Did you know Haley was coming?" Peyton asked.

"I know she mentioned her and Chris were going to try and be here." Brooke replied, she tightly squeezed Nathan's hand. "Are you alright?"

Nathan smiled, "Yeah I'm fine, I'm happy for her." He kissed her cheek, "You know after Peyton and Ben take the marriage leap next month you and I will be the last unwed couple standing."

Brooke felt her cheeks redden, "I know."

-0-

Haley had finally made her way upfront, "Peyton I had an entire speech prepared but unfortunately Brooke assaulted me in the parking lot and called it her own," everyone laughed including Brooke and Peyton. "We've known each other 10 years and I'm so excited I get to share in this moment with you and Ben." Haley choked up a little, "Like Brooke I knew that Ben was the one the second you started talking about him. Your whole face would light up at the mere mention of his name." Haley smiled at Chris who blew her a kiss, "You'll love being married, it's the greatest thing ever. I have been working on a little song for you two and I was hoping you would give me the honor of singing it for you on your wedding day." Peyton nodded and blew kisses to Haley, "To Ben and Peyton everyone."

After a few people from Ben's side of the family spoke the DJ cued up the music and people began to dance. Nathan smiled at Brooke and kissed her hand, "Dance with me?" Brooke nodded and headed with him to the dance floor. "Are you having a good time Davis?"

Brooke pulled him close to her, "Yes, I can't wait for the wedding. Peyton and I have planned out every last detail. It's going to be positively breathtaking." She kissed his lips softly, "Was it hard to see Haley tonight?" she wondered.

Nathan laughed, "No, I know I was a zombie for a while after she ran off and married that clown but I've realized we just weren't right together. I mean look at her," Brooke turned her head and saw Chris spinning Haley around and performing an overly dramatic dip, "She never smiled like that when we were together." He tilted Brooke's chin and kissed her lips passionately, "I'm thankful everyday that we got back together Brooke." He looked sad for a brief moment, "Please don't ever question that."

Brooke smiled, "Today was the last time… Promise." They continued to dance and Brooke continued, "I'm glad we're back together too. I feel like we needed that time apart; I think we both grew as individuals, that's important." Brooke noticed that Nathan now looked a little nervous, "Are you alright? Do you need some air?"

Nathan laughed, "No baby I'm fine," He motioned for the DJ to cut the music, "I'm more than fine."

Brooke panicked a second, "Nathan honey what are you doing?" Brooke noticed the room grow silent and saw Peyton and Ben staring their way. She tried to read the look on Peyton's face but it was useless.

Nathan looked at Brooke, "I fell in love with you when we were only 16. For me High school was a better place because we got thru it together." Nathan paused, "This past year has been surreal. I wake up every morning and feel like I'm in a dream because no way in a million years did I think you were going to forgive me for the things that I've done."

Brooke knew what was happening now and felt hot tears well up in her eyes, "Nathan," she practically whispered.

"Brooke Penelope Davis," Nathan pulled out a ring and got down on one knee, "Will you marry me?"

Brooke felt as if she couldn't breathe, she looked at Peyton and saw her nod, she knew this was going to happen, she looked back at Nathan and immediately knew the answer she had spent the week searching for, "Yes!" She got down on the floor with him and kissed him, "Yes I'll marry you."

Nathan stood up and pulled her into his arms, "I'm going to live every day of my life to make you happy Davis" he pulled back and laughed, "Did you even look at the ring?"

Brooke giggled, "No," Nathan pulled open the box again and Brooke shrieked at the brilliant sparkle. "Put it on please," Brooke said extending her trembling hand to her new fiancé, she noticed Ben and Peyton walking towards them, "You knew about this and you didn't tell me?"

"Like you would have believed me, Nathan Scott is the last person I ever thought would want to settle down," Peyton smiled.

Ben shook hands with Nathan, "I gotta give you credit man I couldn't have asked Peyton during such a big party. I barely got the words out when it was just us."

"That's the understatement of the year," Peyton placed her hands on her hips, "We're sitting at home on the couch and he leans over and is like, 'so Peyt you ummm wanna get married?'"

Ben scoffed, "I had a ring babe, I was just nervous." Ben pulled Peyton close and kissed her cheek, "No matter how horribly I botched the proposal you still said yes."

Peyton shrugged, "I know. And I still think it was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done."

Brooke stared at the new piece of jewelry wrapped around her still shaking finger. "I'm going to run to the restroom, I'll be right back."

-0-

Brooke opened the door to the ladies room and let out a huge breath, "Nights been full of surprises hasn't it?"

Brooke jumped, "Jake what are you doing here?"

"I was invited?" He replied with a question.

He noticed his appear, more rugged than normal, "And are you a friend of the bride or the groom?" Brooke said folding her arms in the process.

"Isn't it obvious?" Jake said with an exaggerated twirl. "I'm a tortured and repressed artist."

Brooke giggled, "If you say so." Brooke sat up on the counter, "I'm engaged now. How come I didn't remember that happening?"

"Oh yes, Nathan's proposal," Jake smiled, "You don't remember it because last time it didn't happen. Nathan found you arguing with Lucas and chickened out. He didn't ask you till a week later."

Brooke's face lit up, "So does that mean I bypassed Lucas's kisses?"

Jake smoothed out his jacket and headed for the door, "I guess you'll just have to wait and see."

-0-

Brooke reapplied her lipstick and heard the door open again. In walked Peyton and Haley. Brooke threw a paper towel at Peyton, "Hey what was that for?"

"I still can't believe you knew about this and you didn't say anything. Not even a little hint." Brooke pouted.

"You have no room to talk B. Davis," Peyton threw back the same paper towel, "You flew all the way to New York on the sly to help Ben pick out the perfect ring so I don't want to hear it."

Haley chimed in, "enough ladies. So Brooke let's see it." Brooke held out her hand, "It's beautiful Brooke."

"So how's the latest tour going?" Brooke asked.

"Great," Haley beamed, "I really feel like my life is complete. Chris and I are happy, we even agreed to record a duets album."

"What about a family Hales?" Peyton asked.

Haley shrugged, "We'll get there eventually I'm sure. We're still young; I want to enjoy the wonders of the world with my husband." Haley smiled, "Then maybe stop touring move back to Tree Hill and have a house full of children. Chris said he would love to have 4… So once we start, there's no turning back."

"I want to have 3 kids," Brooke proclaimed, "2 boys and 1 girl."

"I'd like to have a big family too," Peyton said, "I know I would never have just one. I hated growing up without siblings."

"Me too," Brooke added. "That's why I was glad when you came along."

"I mostly didn't have a sister," Haley chuckled, "Taylor wasn't exactly nice to me and she had her own friends that she preferred to hang out with…" Haley paused, "Still does."

The girls laughed, "Well I'm excited about planning my own wedding, I think I want to get married next spring, lots of pink and lavender. Nathan is so horrible he had the nerve to tell me that we were the last two singles standing. Then five minutes later he's proposing." Brooke tapped her foot.

"Lucas will be single again in a few months," Haley said.

"What happened to Lindsay?" Peyton asked, "I wondered why I didn't see her tonight."

"She told Lucas she didn't love him anymore. I guess she was seeing some studio big wig behind his back." Haley leaned in, "Chris said he heard that she was pregnant with his child."

Brooke and Peyton both gasped, "that's terrible Hales."

"Plus I heard OTH isn't doing so well in the ratings," Haley paused, "the CW is working on a new pilot called Gossip Girl or something."

Brooke felt a twinge of guilt for being do cold to Lucas earlier, "I'm going to go get some fresh air. I'll see you guys in a little while."

-0-

Brooke headed to the terrace, she needed to talk to him and she knew that's where he would be, "I knew I would find you out here."

Lucas raised his glass, "I guess congratulations are in order?"

"Thank you," Brooke said, "Why didn't you tell me about Lindsay?"

Lucas scoffed, "What for? So you could laugh at me? My wife wants a divorce so she can marry the guy whose child she's carrying. Excuse me for not wanting your pity."

Brooke flinched at his words, "I'm sorry that you're going thru this right now. If you need anything you know where I am."

She turned to go, "Wait," Lucas said, "Sorry for the attitude. This just isn't how I wanted my life to be."

"Of course not," Brooke sighed.

"I should have never cheated on you Brooke," Lucas put down his drink, "We would be married by now if I hadn't."

Brooke shook her head, "Don't do this to yourself Luke. I'm happy with my life right now, and you were happy 8 months ago when you and Lindsay got married. Why are you always doing this to me?"

"Doing what?" Lucas asked.

"Whenever I'm happy you come around and just fuck it all up." Brooke sat down on the bench. "I'm happy now Lucas please don't try and take that away from me."

Lucas sat next to her, "But I think you're happiest when you're with me," He took her hand, "Come on Brooke let's try one more time… Please. If it doesn't work this time I promise I'll leave you alone."

"You are aware that I just got engaged to your brother right?" Brooke asked removing his hand from hers.

"So… You don't love him the way you love me. We both know that." Lucas shook his head, "I bet Nathan knows it to."

Brooke hesitated while she found the right words. She was raking her brain when something snapped into place. "I do love you Luke you're right," he opened his mouth but Brooke continued, "But I'm in love with Nathan. The love I have for you is the love of a great friendship. I miss when you used to call me and tell me how your life was. I miss the emails about your latest adventure. I want to remain your friend Lucas, and that's it."

"But the heat and passion we have shared over the years," Lucas asked, "you can't say you never felt it."

Brooke nodded, "You're right I can't say I never felt that spark Luke. But I can say with certainty that I don't feel it anymore."

"Brooke," Lucas said choking back tears. "Please… I'm only asking for one more shot. Just give us a chance."

Brooke stood up, "I can't Lucas and honestly I don't want to. And when you sober up you won't want to either."

-0-

"There's my beautiful girl," Nathan said as Brooke approached him.

"Can we head home," Brooke smiled, "I have a headache. I think this night has just about worn me out."

"Sure," Nathan nodded and kissed her forehead, "I'll get you jacket. Why don't you track down Ben and Peyton and tell them we'll get lunch next week when I'm back in town."

"OK," Brooke said and turned to find Peyton and Ben.

"Is everything alright?" Peyton asked when she saw the look on Brooke's face.

"Yeah, I have a headache," Brooke replied, "And Lucas is drunk on the terrace. Make sure you call him a cab soon."

Ben got up, "I'll take care of it."

Brooke sat next to Peyton and took her hand, "He asked me, practically begged me to give him another shot."

Peyton gasped, "Please tell me you didn't fall for that bullshit again."

Brooke laughed slightly, "No I didn't. I told him I loved him as my friend and nothing more."

"How'd he take it?" Peyton asked.

"Not well," Brooke replied.

"I'm sorry honey," Peyton paused, "Is there anything you need me to do?"

Brooke stood up again and hugged Peyton, "Just make sure he sleeps it off somewhere."

-0-

Brooke waited for the valet to return with the car, Nathan had just returned with her jacket, "Here you go baby, put this on." He opened his hand and gave her 2 tablets of aspirin, "Here I got these from the concierge," He also handed her a bottle of water.

Brooke opened up the aspirin packet and immediately took them and downed the water bottle, she smiled, "You're my knight in shining armor Nathan Scott."

Nathan tipped his imaginary hat, "I do what I can ma'am."

Brooke giggled, "I love you."

"I love you too," Nathan said kissing her temple, "Now where's my damn car?"

Brooke was about to speak when Lucas stumbled out the front entrance, "So this is where the party is?"

Nathan turned, "If it isn't my waste of space brother. I see your following in Dan's footsteps by being a party crasher."

"I was invited," Lucas stressed every syllable.

"Unfortunately," Nathan added.

Lucas handed the waiting valet his ticket, "I don't know how you can marry this guy Brooke. You deserve someone better."

Nathan laughed, "Like who? You?"

"Yeah… Me." Lucas smiled, "Come on Brooke the offer still stands. We can run away together and elope."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Lucas you're drunk and in case you forgot you're already married. Polygamy is illegal in the United States."

Lucas threw up his hands, "So we wait then. The divorce will be final soon."

"Lucas I said no, we're friends." Brooke squeezed Nathan's hand, "Let's not burn that bridge alright."

Nathan's car and Lucas's car pulled up at the same time. Brooke grabbed Lucas's keys from the valet, "What are you doing?" Nathan asked.

Brooke laughed, "You're joking right? Lucas is drunk he can't drive home."

Nathan glared at Lucas, "You're right babe. What are we going to do?"

"I'm going to go give his key's to Ben and him and Peyton can drive it back to Lucas's after the party. We'll just drop him off on the way." Brooke smiled.

"Fine," Nathan pointed, "You in the back seat. If you throw up you're paying for it to be detailed. Have I made myself clear?"

Lucas laughed, "Crystal."

Brooke returned with a smile, "All set. Let's go."

-0-

*Present Day*

Brooke woke up and she was alone, "Nathan?" she called out. She turned on a light and shrieked, "Jake?"

"Good morning sleepy head," Jake smiled, "Sleep well?"

"Are we in the past or the future?" Brooke said sleepily and patted her tummy and gasped again, "I'm pregnant."

Jake nodded, "You have completed your task Brooke Davis and I must say I am proud of you."

Brooke sat up, "Oh really why is that?"

"Because you were never just worried about your happiness you were concerned about the others around you." Jake smiled, "You succeed."

"You mean that doesn't always happen?" Brooke asked, nibbling on a cracker.

"No, people tend to go back and repeat the same mistakes over and over again and wonder why nothing is different." Jake flipped thru his notebook, "You are right where you're supposed to be."

"Where is Nathan?" Brooke asked.

"You're husband and son and in Tree Hill visiting Deb while you got some rest." Jake noticed the sadness in her eyes, "Don't worry they're going to be home tonight."

"So if it got it right, why are you still here?" Brooke asked.

"There is still one more thing we need to do." Jake got up and sat next to her on the bed.

"But the list…"

"Is complete," Jake smiled, "I just need to change your memories. You weren't supposed to wake up yet."

"So I just need to go back to sleep?" Brooke asked.

"Yes, and when you wake up I will have been just a dream," Jake said.

"Thank you Jake," Brooke said as she drifted back into sleepiness.

-0-

Brooke woke up and turned to the alarm clock, "9:12, wow I slept in." She got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen. She heard a knock at the door. "Coming," she called out. She opened the door, "Ben?"

"Hey Davis," Ben said as he hurried into the house, Charlie and Ellie in tow. "Peyton's water broke. She insisted on hopping in a cab to head to the hospital while I dropped off the kids. I can't stay but a minute I'm double parked outside and the car is running. Where's Nathan?"

Brooke smiled, "Tree Hill. He took Danny to see Deb; he'll be home tonight sometime."

"Can you handle them both by yourself?" Ben asked.

Brooke laughed, "Of course I can Benjamin. Now get going, give my love to Peyton. I want to know the second Vivienne arrives." Ben left after kissing both kids and telling them to behave, "Who wants chocolate chip pancakes?"

Charlie and Ellie both said "me" at the same time.

"Ellie my love set the table for me." Brooke rubbed her back, "Auntie can't reach that far down right now." Ellie ran passed her to the hutch with the plastic plates, bowls and cups inside. The phone started to ring, "Charlie honey, grab that." Brooke heard his small voice answer the phone.

He came running into the kitchen, "Aunt Brooke it's Uncle Nathan."

"Thank you honey," Brooke continued stirring the pancake mix, "Hey baby."

"Sounds like you have a full house over there," Nathan said.

"Ben just dropped them off, Peyton's water broke." Brooke replied.

"Do you need us to catch an earlier flight?" Nathan asked.

"No, I'll be fine till you get home I promise. How is Tree Hill?" Brooke said.

"Still here," Nathan laughed, "You'll never guess who I ran into the other day."

"Who," Brooke smiled.

"Haley, I guess her and Chris are looking for a house here." Nathan said, "I told her she should get a place in New York since we all kind of call that our hub now."

"Speaking of hubs," Brooke paused, "When do you have to go back to Los Angeles?"

"Not for another 3 weeks. I'm still trying to close that Japanese deal." Nathan coughed, "If I do I might be able to convince them to transfer me to the New York office."

"Fingers crossed." Brooke stirred in the chocolate chips, "Danny starts school in the fall and I want him to stay here. He has friends here." Ellie pulled on the hem of Brooke's shirt, she was holding up 2 different napkins, Brooke pointed to the one she wanted and Ellie hurried back to the dining room.

"Do you want me to call Lucas?" Nathan asked, "I heard him and Brittany were back in town."

"Nathan Royal Scott, I told you I was just fine. Don't bother your brother; they're newlyweds for crying out loud." Brooke began mixing eggs, "I miss you, I can't wait to see you tonight."

"Really?" Nathan said with a sly undertone, "We'll have a house full of children. Think you can be quiet?"

Brooke blushed, "Nathan that isn't why I missed you."

"Oh," Nathan replied sounding hurt, "I miss you too… Mom was asking about you. I told her you were working on your new line that's why you couldn't come. Not to mention Peyton was about to pop and we were going to be operating the kiddy corral."

"Tell Deb I'll make a trip down after the baby is born," Brooke paused, "I think I thought of the perfect name, it came to me in a dream."

"Yeah," Nathan replied, "Tell me I'm dying to know. I'm tired of referring to his as boy #2."

Brooke laughed and poured the eggs into the skillet, "Jacob. We can call him Jake for short."

"I like it," Nathan laughed, "Baby #2 I now dub thee Jake Scott."

"Perfect." Brooke giggled, "Hon I have to go, I just finished breakfast and Jake is kicking like crazy. I love you, safe flight. I'll see you soon. Hug Danny for me."

"He's kicking because he's glad he has a name now." Nathan laughed, "I love you too and I'll see you tonight."

Brooke clicked off the phone, "Charlie, Ellie… Breakfast is ready." Brooke closed her eyes and smiled contently.

-0-

So whatcha think??? I'm going to write a short epilogue and post it in a few days. It will explain some of the loose ends, like how Nathan and Lucas mended their relationship, and Brooke revels why heart always went back to Nathan… Anyways I love how it turned out… For all you disappointed Brucas fans check out my finished story "Blue Christmas" it's totally Brucas love… And the sequel… I'm writing now will be posted by the end of the week.

Thanks for all your support!

Krystal


	7. Epilogue: The Hook Brings You Back

**Author's Note: **I couldn't remember when Brooke's birthday was so for this story her birthday is August 31st.

**Being Brooke**

_Epilogue: Because the Hook Brings You Back_

*August 28th 2013*

Brooke drummed her charcoal pencil on her desk. She heard footsteps behind her, "I think you should take a break babe. It's not good for the baby." Nathan said rubbing her shoulders.

Brooke huffed, "I seriously have baby brain." She relaxed against him, "I can't focus on anything but our baby girl."

Nathan smiled, bent down and kissed her temple, "What names are you thinking of today Davis?"

Brooke giggled at the old nickname, "You do know I haven't been a Davis in almost 7 years right?"

"I know," Nathan smiled, "But to me you'll always be Davis…" He pulled her into his arms, "You still call me hot shot."

Brooke giggled into his chest, "Well that nickname has sort of evolved." Brooke felt her cheeks redden. She cleared her throat, "OK today I'm thinking Sophia, Evelyn, Amelia or Natalie."

"Those are nice babe." Nathan said leading her out of the dark office, "I think Evelyn and Amelia go best with Penelope."

Brooke stopped in the hallway, "I am not saddling our daughter with Penelope."

"Why not baby," Nathan kissed her temple again, "You told me Richard was the one that picked Penelope as your middle name."

Brooke frowned thinking of her father; she couldn't believe he had gone more than 10 years. "He did… It was his mother's middle name."

"See, I think it fits perfectly," Nathan gripped her shoulders, "Evelyn Penelope Scott… Amelia Penelope Scott."

Brooke smiled at the silly grin on her husbands face, "It really means that much to you." Nathan nodded, "If passing on tradition honestly meant that much to you why doesn't one of the boys have Royal as a middle name?"

Nathan's eyes dropped, "Well I'm not sure other than it didn't flow well with the first names I mean Daniel Caleb Scott sounds perfect, so does Jacob Brandon Scott."

"Royal would have worked with either of those names," Brooke said folding her arms.

Nathan kissed her neck and made her moan out lightly, "Well I guess we'll have to try for another boy after this one is born… Samuel Royal," Nathan kissed her neck again, "Zachary Royal…" Nathan nibbled her ear lobe this time, "Or Matthew Royal Scott."

Brooke felt her skin grow hot, "Nope," she pushed him back, "After this baby is out, we're done. Who do you think I am Peyton? I'm not a baby factory."

-0-

After Nathan went to sleep Brooke headed back to her office and tried her hardest to complete one design, "Why is this so difficult tonight?" She asked aloud. She stared at the cluster of pictures pined to her peg board, "I wonder if Peyton is still awake?"

She picked up the phone and waited for someone to answer, "Hello?" Peyton called out sleepily.

"Hey ," Brooke said, "Did I wake you?"

"Unfortunately no," Peyton huffed, "I swear after this one I'm done. I don't care what Ben says… He's not even going to look at me till I get my tubes tied."

Brooke laughed, her and Peyton were both 7 months pregnant, their due dates were within days of each other. "Oh come on, you love your big brood."

"Of course I do," Peyton laughed, "But after this one I'm done. Can you believe that our daughters are going to grow up together? I mean what an amazing story for them to be able to share with their children. I knew your Aunt when we were in utero."

"I just can't believe you're pregnant with your 5th child," Brooke smiled "Time sure does fly."

"You're telling me," Peyton laughed again, "Ben and I have been married 8 years I feel like I've been pregnant almost that entire time."

"Well you almost have," Brooke paused, "Let's see… First is Charlie, then next is Ellie, then you guys had Vivian…"

"Next came Jonathan," Peyton continued, "And in 2 short months little Grace will be here." Peyton sighed, "I'm getting tired just thinking of her being here."

"At least 2 of them are in school," Brooke reassured her, "I can't wait till Danny starts kindergarten."

"He starts next month right?" Peyton asked.

"Yes, he's excited, I'm excited and Nathan's excited." Brooke giggled, "None of us can wait. I don't think there's anything else more important going on right now."

"Oh yes there is," Peyton insisted, "You're turning the big 3-0 in 3 days."

"Don't remind me, Nathan keeps asking where I want to go for dinner and I keep stalling. I don't want to do anything." Brooke whined.

"30 isn't that big of a deal B, I promise." Peyton said.

"Yeah," Brooke laughed, "says the woman who refused to get out of bed for a week when it was her birthday."

"I couldn't get out of bed because the doctor ordered me to take it easy." Peyton argued.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Whatever you have to say to yourself Peyt. I'm going to try and go to sleep now before Nathan wakes up and lectures me." She heard Peyton laugh, "Maybe you, Ben and the kids can come over for my birthday and we can do something quiet."

"Sounds like a plan," Peyton said with a yawn, "Now get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

After Peyton clicked off Brooke studied the pictures on the peg board again, "Peyton's a rock star," Brooke said aloud.

"What babe?" Nathan called behind her.

"I'm coming back to bed right now sweetie I promise," Brooke smiled her signature smile.

-0-

*August 31st 2013*

Brooke woke up to find herself alone in bed, "Nathan?" she called. She got up and tied on her favorite robe, in ran her 2 boys, Daniel age 5 and Jacob age 2½ "Where is daddy boys?"

Danny looked at Jake and shrugged, "He said when you woke up we were to distract you till he got home."

Brooke placed her hands on her hips, "Is that so?" She looked at Jake, "Is that what daddy said?"

Jake nodded, "Yes momma."

"Hmmm." Brooke said, "Let's see where daddy is," Brooke picked up her phone and dialed Nathan's cell. He answered on the second ring, "Where are you?"

"Around the corner, I'll be right there honey I promise." Nathan said out of breath, "So the boys ratted me out huh?"

"Of course they did," Brooke laughed, "No one likes to cross mommy do they?" Brooke looked at her boys and laughed when they both rapidly shook their heads. "You should remember not to cross me either."

"I'll work on that babe," Nathan laughed, "Come outside. I have a present for you."

Brooke listened for the dial tone, "Come on daddy's outside, he has a present for mommy." The boys went running for the front door, she heard both of them scream wow!!! Brooke finally made it to the front door and gasped, "Nathan Royal Scott what is this about?" She wrapped the robe around her swollen stomach tighter. She noticed the boys were eating ice cream.

Nathan walked towards her holding a big boutique of flowers and balloons, "Happy Birthday baby." He kissed her face.

She crossed her arms over her stomach, "Thanks, but I distinctly remember telling you I didn't want a big production for my birthday."

Nathan laughed, "This isn't even close to being a big production."

"I don't like the sound of that," Brooke giggled as she headed back into the house. "Nathan can you grab me my birthday scrap book and the digital camera please." Nathan returned with the big pink album, "Thank you." Brooke turned her head, "Boys if you get cleaned up mommy will show you the birthday book."

-0-

The boys sat around the coffee table and watched as Brooke opened the book. She turned to her 10th birthday and laughed, "That's mommy and daddy." Brooke pointed to the girl wearing flowered leggings and a big straw hat and the boy hugging her in gym shorts and a white tank top.

Nathan kissed her forehead, "I love that picture."

Brooke laughed, "You're all over this thing." Brooke tried to remember how many birthdays she had experienced without Nathan around, "There are only a few years where we weren't together."

Nathan huffed, "Don't remind me. How many times are you with Luke in that book?"

"Uncle Lucas is in the book?" Danny asked.

"Yeah a few years, I'll show you." Brooke said flipping thru the pages till she reached the birthday she was looking for, she whispered to Nathan, "This is the last birthday I spent with your brother."

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Yeah but it was a big birthday."

Brooke laughed, "You are so weird. Lucas and I never loved each other that way. We dated a while, but it was never serious. You know that." Brooke squeezed his hand.

"He wrote a book about you, that still bugs me sometimes." Nathan pouted.

"He wrote a book about a girl he admired from a far… We just happened to share the same name," Brooke laughed, "You won honey so what does it matter."

Nathan smiled, "You're totally right babe."

-0-

The kids were both laying down for a nap and Brooke found Nathan in the living room watching some baseball game. She walked in front of him and straddled his legs, "Babe you probably shouldn't be doing that."

Brooke giggled, "It doesn't hurt." She kissed his neck.

Nathan moaned, "I'm not going to tell you about your present, it doesn't matter what you do."

"Give me 10 minutes you'll be singing a different tune," Brooke continued kissing his neck and started to unbutton his shirt.

Nathan placed his arms around her back and stood up; Brooke wrapped her legs around him. She giggled as Nathan wobbled towards their bedroom. "Brooke Penelope Scott you're going to be the death of me someday." Nathan said as he lay her down and kissed her lips.

"You just can't tell me no," Brooke kissed him harder, "So tell me what the rest of the day entails. You know I hate surprises," Brooke blinked her eyes, "And I am 7 months pregnant the stress isn't good for me."

Nathan spun his wedding band around his finger, "I thank God very day that you said you'd marry me. Do you know that?"

Brooke sat up on her elbows, "I'm glad we're married too honey. I can't picture my life with anyone else."

Nathan sat next to her, "I've loved you for 15 years Davis." He ran his hands thru his hair, "Because of you I have two beautiful children. I can't ever thank you enough for making my life complete."

Brooke was concerned now, "Nate baby what's the matter."

"Nothing," Nathan kissed her temple, "I was just thinking about how happy you make me. I remember when you were with Lucas, you seemed like such a different person. I thought I would never get the chance to make things right with us again."

Brooke grabbed him by his belt loops and pulled him next to her, she plunged her tongue into his mouth, "Enough about Lucas. You've always had my heart Nathan… no one else."

That was all Nathan needed, he started to kiss her feverishly and he cupped her breasts gently, "I love you."

Brooke moaned, "I love you too." She sat up to take off her shirt.

"Stop," Nathan said, "I wanna do it." He kinked an eyebrow at his wife.

*WARNING SEX SCENE*

"Suit yourself," Brooke giggled; "We have about," she glanced at the alarm clock, "an hour before Jake and Danny get up."

Nathan removed his shirt to reveal his perfectly sculpted chest, "Plenty of time." He pulled Brooke up by her arms and removed her small tank top and unclasped her bra, "Have I told you lately that your breasts are huge?"

Brooke giggled again, "Like every day." She moaned out as Nathan took one of them into his mouth and squeezed gently. "Don't stop baby."

"I'm just getting warmed up Davis," Nathan responded slyly with a naughty grin, "Just lay there and look pretty I'll take care of the rest." Brooke nodded eagerly, with this pregnancy she had found herself in an aroused state constantly, Nathan could barely keep up. Nathan began to place butterfly kisses all over her swollen abdomen. Brooke arched towards him, Nathan countered with more kisses. He slowly made his way down her stomach and stopped on her pelvic bone.

Brooke cried out, "Don't stop baby."

She arched again, Nathan laughed, "The doctors said it isn't a good idea," he kissed her pelvic bone harder.

"I… I don't care what the doctors said," Brooke writhed.

Nathan kissed slightly lower, "Yes you do." Brooke groaned, Nathan laughed again and began to rub her clit with his thumb, Brooke gasped. "If you don't like it I can stop…" he said removing his thumb.

"Nathan Royal Scott," Brooke said breathless. Nathan continued to rub her clit till he knew she was close. He stopped and Brooke took a deep breath. He wiggled out of his pants and laid down next to her, "It's your birthday," he kissed her temple, "Which way do you want it???"

Brooke giggled instantly, "I wanna get on top of you. My belly is too big otherwise."

Nathan rubbed her stomach, "You're just as beautiful as you were the day I made you mine forever." Nathan quickly pulled Brooke on top of him and listened for her breath to quicken as she slowly slid down onto his erection, he smiled and began to thrust hard. He rubbed circles onto her hip bones and watched as his wife bounced up and down and moaned in ecstasy. When Nathan heard her breath catch in her throat he knew she was close. He thrust up inside her and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her as close as he could manage. He saw her biting her lip and pushed his free hand to her mouth to silence the loud moan. He climaxed not long after.

He helped Brooke roll over, she kissed his temple, "I can't feel my toes baby."

Nathan smirked, "That's supposed to happen. You almost got a little loud there at the end babe."

Brooke giggled, "Yeah what a traumatic way to end my birthday." Brooke said thinking of the boys down the hall.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, "You're birthday isn't over yet my love…"

-0-

Brooke woke up from her sex induced nap and turned on the radio. She began to hum along to the familiar Blues Traveler song. She listened to the words 'It don't matter who you are… I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks,' she began to sing the chorus, "Because the hook brings you back, I ain't telling you no lie." She paused and it hit her, "Nathan!" she yelled.

Nathan ran to the bedroom, "what is it Brooke? Is it the baby?"

"No, I just figured out the perfect way to explain our love… Listen" Brooke said turning up the radio, 'So desperately I sing to thee… Of love, sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self' Nathan took a seat on the bed next to his wife, 'I can't keep these feelings on the shelf, I've tried well no in fact I lied.'

Nathan squeezed Brooke's hand and continued to listen to the song he had heard so many times but now seemed to take on a whole new meaning, 'Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside, To hide or slide, I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died,' "I get what you mean baby," Nathan whispered into Brooke's ear.

'I wanna bust all your balloons, I wanna burn all of your cities… To the ground I've found, I will not mess around, Unless I play then hey, I will go on all day hear what I say, I have a prayer to pray, That's really all this was, And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck I don't rely on luck because...' Brooke belted out the chorus, "The hook brings you back, I ain't telling you no lie."

Nathan listened to his wife sing off key and felt his heart race, "I love you Brooke."

"I love you too Nathan, see no matter where I was or who I was with it didn't matter," Brooke smiled, "Because I was already hooked to you."

Nathan leaned in and kissed his wife, "I get it," He stood up to head to the kitchen, "But I still think our song was decided a long long time ago…"

Brooke followed him, "Oh really??? And what song would that be hot shot?"

Nathan turned to sing to her when the kids ran down the hallway laughing and giggling, "Boys… come here. We're gonna sing something for your mom." Nathan went into the living room and grabbed the CD he was looking for. He put it in and as soon as the music cued up the boys started to jump around and clap. Brooke sat down in the reading chair and watched her men perform for her.

"I, I'm so in love with you, whatever you want to do is alright with me." Nathan sang off key bringing tears to Brooke's eyes, "Cause you make me feel so brand new… And I want to spend my life with you." Nathan grabbed Brooke's hand and pulled her up to dance with him, "Since we've been together… Loving you forever is what I need. Let me be the one you come running to."

Brooke kissed his lips softly and felt the tears well in her eyes, "you're right. You win this is totally our song." They both laughed when they heard the boys…

"Let's stay together," Danny crooned, "Loving you whether," Jake continued, then together they sang, "Times are good or bad, happy or sad."

When the song ended Brooke clapped excitedly, "thank you boys that was wonderful."

"Happy Birthday mommy!" Danny and Jake said.

"Happy Birthday honey," Nathan said with a kiss.

-0-

*THE END*

Hope everyone loved the epilogue… Sorry it took a little longer to post than I had originally said. I'm working to jobs right now… And it's hard for me to find time to sleep, let alone write. Hope everyone is having a good weekend… I'll post updates to my other stories soon…

Thanks!

Krystal


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